Mrs Josh Billings' Prayer to Fortune.

Cromwell Argus, Volume II, Issue 101, 17 October 1871, Page 7

Mrs Josh Billings' Prayer to Fortune.

Kind Fortune, may thi mersys endure for ever ; smile thou ov thi loving eyes upon this tine bust of mine. Strengthen mi husband, and may hiz m mey hold out to the last. Bless, oh Fortune, mi crimps, rats, and frizzles, and let thi glory shine upon mi paint and powder. When T walk out before the gaze of vulgar man, regulate mi wiggle, and add nu grace to my gaitera. Bless all dri gooik klerks, milliners, maiity makers, and hair f'rizzers, and give immortality to Lubin and his assigns for ever. Lead mo bi the side of eolo'.ie waters, and fatten my calves upon the bran of thi love. Blister, oh Fortune, with the heat of thi wrath, the man who treads on the tail ov my garments. Take mi two children oph from mi hands, for they bother me ; and take them to be thi children, and bring them up to suit thiself. When I bow miself in worship, grant that I imy do it with ravishing elegance, and preserve unto the last the lily white of my flesh, and the taper of mi fingers, Smile thou graciously, oh Fortune, upon mi nu silk drejs, now in the hands of the manty maker, and may it lit me all over like unto the duok's foot fitteth the mud. Destroy mine enemies with the gaul of jealousy, and eat thou up with the teeth of envy all those who gaze at mi style. Save me from wrinkles, and fester my plumpness. Fill mi both eyes, oh Fortune, with the plaintive pizon of infatuashun, that I may lay out my viktims, the men, az knumb as im iges graven. Let the lily and roze strive together iu mi cheek, and may mi nek swim like a goose on the buzzum of krystal water. Enable me, oh Fortune, to wear shoes still a little smaller, and save me from all korns or bmiyons. Bless Fanny mi lap dog, and rain besoms of destruction upon those who would hurt a hair of Hektor mi kitten. Remove far from me all the wails of the sorrowful, and shiold my sensitiff uatur from the klamours of the widder, and the rank necessity's jof the orphan. Smile, oh Fortune, most sweetly j upon Dick, my kanary, and watch over, with ; the fondness ot a mother, my two lily white j mice, with red eyes. Enable the poor to shirk j themselfs, and save me from all missionary beg- | gars. Shed the light ov thi countenance on my | kiimraeVs hair shawl, my lavender silk, my point ' laee, and my necklace of diamonds, and keep the j moths out of my sables, I beseech thee. Give I me strength, I pray thee,.to endure the sight of young Dobbin's six-iu-hand turn-out, and smite . with thy wrath all the snobs ov the period. I | have always been a friend to thee, oh Fortune, j ihurefjre bless mo for ever and ever.