VARIETIES.

Cromwell Argus, Volume III, Issue 152, 8 October 1872, Page 3

VARIETIES.

An old revolver—The earth. Hop culturists —Dancing masters. The diseases from which our journalists most suffer—Rumour-tism. A Western New York miss unguardedly made the remark, in the family circle recently, " When gentlemen eat warm sugar, it gets into their moustaches and mikes them scratchy." Her father is curious to know how she found it out. An old lady at the West went to hear Emerson lecture, and liked him. The only drawback was that the subject announce I iu the papers was " Destiny," which she mistook for dentistry, and never discovered her error until too late to consider the production from that altered standpoint. Revenge. —A woman's husband was persecuted to death by a creditor. She then married the creditor, and persecuted him to death in six months. Time at last sets all things even. An Amerioui editor writes thus about a display of the Aurora Borealis:—" Last evening, as soon as Tithonus hid retired for the night and was enjoying his first sno<s', .his spouse, \he rosy-fingered Aurora, daughter of the irovnin *, snatchsd the saffron-coloured coverlet fiom his bed, and. wrapping it about her, danced a jig in the Northern sky." An old bachelor recently gave utterance to the following jt u (I'enprit. He was introduced to a beautiful widow of the same name as himself. The introduction was in this wise :—"Mr Evans, permit me to introduce you to Mrs Evans."— " Mrs Evans 1" exclaimed the spirited bachelor ; ■'the very lady I. have bec.i in searc'a of for the last forty years !" A charlitan once presented, himself to a great nobleman who suffered cruelty from the gout aud offered an infallible remedy. "How did you enter this town ?" asked the r.obleman. I " On foot."—" Then be off with you ; "or if you reilly possessed such a remedy as you lese;ibe, you would long since have ridden in your coach

an 1 six." On the Ist June, a youth named Kerfcy went to the shop of Mr Barrett, gunsmith, Nevcnstle-under-Lyme, to purchase a revolver. A sixchambered weapon was handed to him for inspection, and Mr Barrett, having placed a cartridge n one of the chambers to show how it was lone, turned to get another revolver or two fir his customer to look at. While examining the one in his hand the youth pulled the trigger upon the loaded chamber, and the bullet entered Mr Barrett's left side, glanced along a rib, and, t*a- | veiled round towards the back. The bullet Mas shortly afterwards extracted. Mr Barrett w'll not again so readily entrust a youth with a loaded revolver.