Enlisting a Lawyer.

Cromwell Argus, Volume IV, Issue 159, 26 November 1872, Page 7

Enlisting a Lawyer.

! Well, mind now, for this is as true as the . Gospel. It was on the 11th May, 1820, I i 'listed a recruit in Dublin, and put the quesI tion to him, gave him the shilling, and walked j him to the barracks as fine as a fiddle. Well, ; in a few days he was claimed as a 'prentice, | and so he was had lip before the mayor, and he committed him for trial. Well, at the | following 'sizes I was called as a witness, and | the lawyer that defended him told me that I I did not 'list him. " 1 did," says I. "By ; the virtue of yer oath, now," says he, " just I ax me the question, for I don't believe you I ax'd him."—" How do you know j" says I, ! " for by this and by that you weren't by."— | " None of your business," says he ; and he j held out his hand, and accordingly I pulled 1 out half-a-crown and clapped it in his fist, j and then 1 asked him the questions, and he said "yes" to them all. "Were these the | same questions you put to the prisoner ?" j says he. "Yes, they were," says I. "Well, i here's your half-crown back for ye," says he. I" I can't take it back, sir," say I. "Why j not," says he. " Why not," says I; " why j sure 1 can't take it back till ye go before a ; magistrate and pay the ' smart money.' " j " You be hanged," says he, and he put the ! money in his pocket, and I called to his Lord- ! ship on the Bench for a witness that I had ! 'listed him. And oh, holy Biddy, but there I was a roar in the court, Begorra, tlie judge | laughed till the tears ran "down his face. | Well, the decision of the court being in my i favour, I axed the judge if I might take away ;my recruit. And they all roared again, nr.il j the counsellor got as red as a turkey cocLc, and as mad as a bull with the cholic :': v Ins 1 , he made the best, he could av it, and .-:. s I ■ o the counsellor, says I, " Don't 1 st hi 'he ; line n*xt time, sir." ' What: then,' s,v s ]■>, ' snappishly. " Oh, yer 'oner." says 1, " «th-k to the rifles; that's more in your w.-iv."' Well, hegorra, when I told the Mulic, t thought he'd die, and when ho'd ch ne :a"ghin' he h'd :me keep the "smart money" for mysi.ii.— ■ Irish Htunour.