EXASPERATED.

Gisborne Times, Volume X, Issue 934, 6 July 1903, Page 4

EXASPERATED.

Bang into the Lawyer’s office, thro’ the private door he plodded ■With a rusticated recklessness and blucher-booted tread, Uninvited seized an office chair, sprawled into it and nodded ‘As he wiped his corrugated brow; ol honest sweat, and said—- “ Mornin’, Lawyer ! I’ve just steered around to interview yer for To shake up some bloomin’ bounders for a-sinashing up the law.

Say I want ter buy, a horse that doesn’t kick and aint a shier ; Say, I doesn’t want a goer that’ll eat a lot of feed, But the quietest I can pick up and say, I becomes a buyer Of a chesnut from a dealer, and I pay him what’s agreed ; Say, I take his word for granted cause I’m layin’ sick in bed, Han’t I summons him for sellin’ me a darn moke .that was dead ?

“ Say I pegs out a selection next to someone else that poses As a friend, and seems the kindest human shape I ever knew; Say he gives me half a ton of seeds he sez are creepin’ roses,. And I plant ’em all around me hut to make it picture-skew, .'Can’t I lump that crocodile to'court If—spare me old red hairs ! I can’t find me darned selection now for weeds and prickly pears ?

“ Say again I buys a sheep-dog from a cove and tracks home with her. And she just sniffs ’round my larder and skedaddles hack agen ; Say Igo and buy another and she does the same dashed slither, Then another, and another, till I'ye shovelled out for ten : Can’t I get that blazin’ wriggling adder strangled up for crime If I’ve bought the same dog dyed a different color every time ?” F —A'. E. Bridges, in Bulletin.