A COMIC DICTIONARY

Gisborne Times, Volume XXV, Issue 2017, 28 February 1907, Page 4

A COMIC DICTIONARY

A good deal of harmless fun is to bo obtained out of a. dictionary if you possess one of the right sort. “The Foolish Dictionary” is a collection of original and highly entertaining definitions by “Gideon Wurdz.” Here are a few gems from this up-to-date “Nuttall.” Adversity.—A bottomless lake surrounded by near-sighted friends. Appendicitis.—A modern pain costing £4O more than the old-fashioned stomach-ache. Benedict.—A married male. Benedictine.—A married female. Benediction. Their children. Champagne.—The stuff that makes the world go round. Critic.— A wet blanket that soaks everything it touches. Engagement.—ln war, battle. In love, .the salubrious calm that precedes the real hostilities. Fakir. —A false reporter. Home. —Whore the mortgage is. nosiery.—Woman’s excuse for walking in the wet. man-About-Town.—One who is on speaking terms with the head waiter. Mine.—A hole in the ground owned by a liar. Pain. —A sensation experienced on receiving a Punch, particularly the London one. Telegram.—A form of correspondence sent by a man in a hurry and carried by a boy in sleep. Twins. —Insuit added to injury. “People who live in glass houses should dress in the dark” is another extract from this little volume.