INTRODUCTIONS.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2151, 28 March 1908, Page 1 (Supplement)

INTRODUCTIONS.

WHAT CUSTOM DECREES,

What to spy mid what to do when people are presented to you is a problem that bothers many a girl, and at this season of the year you are apt to meet/more strangers than during tin), shut-in mouths of eold weather. Perhaps the gravest of all faults is selfconsciousness, and to bo successful in social circles, you must learn to forget yourself. Do not think that everyone in the room is looking at you. It is far more likely that no one has not iced your entrance .at all. Try to le rather indifferent tii your currouticdiugs, and above all to' stick to simplicity. One of the most popular and simplest methods of introduction is to say “Mrs Blank, let me present Mr Smith.’’ But be sure that you always present the man to the woman and not vice versa, and speak the woman’s name first. Often, when a man presents another man to a woman friend, it is rather flattering to have him say, “Mrs Smith, my friend, Mr Jones, wishes to bo presented to you.” in introducing one man or one woman to many people, simply say his or her name once, such as “Miss Smith, let me present Mrs Brown, Mrs Jones, Mr White, and Mr Black.” In introducing men to each other it matters very little whose name you mention first, but in vast differences in ages, present the young man to the older one, and so with introducing two women. An unmarried woman is usually presented to the matron. It is really a rare gift to make an easy and successful introduction, and it is a very common fault not to speak the names'of your friends distinctly. Remember that though they are old friends of yours, and tlieir names are familar to you, they may never have heard of each other before. Hence speak their names clearly. It you are a hostess and have for a moment forgotten the name of somo guest whom you know slightly - , it is far better to say, “Forgive me, but I have forgotten your name for the moment” than to introduce her all the afternoon in a slipshod way, trying to cover up your forgetfulness. The old custom of shaking hands is used pretty generally these days, except in very small functions where there is not time for details. It will immediately put two people on an equal foundation, and you will seldom go wrong in offering your baud to a now acquaintance. If you are a hostess, you must invariable rise when you greet your guests, but if a man i:; brought up to you to be introduced, you need not rise. However, a man must always rise when being introduced to a woman, whether she is young or old. Next, ivliat to say after the actual words of introduction have passed. The old rule of “talking about things, not about people,” will hold good here, but try to avoid the weather p.s a topic as long as possible. The man or the- girl who can make a tinie- • ly remark is' gifted, indeed, but many people are easily embarrassed, and hence in that way the first bits of conversation are stilted and choppy. A bore always talks about himself, and we should all remember that it is only our intimate friends who want to hear what we have done and what we are going to do. The passing acquaintance does not. Do not be afraid to introduce pcopie to each other on the chance that ''they have met before. It is ea6y enough to say, “Mr Brown, have yon met Mrs Smith?” and it is far more polite than leaving them staring at each other. Another great fault found in young girls that have not gone out much Is that when they are introduced to people they do not look at- them. Hold your head high and look a man -or a woman full in the face, shake their hand and try to have some remark" at the tip of your tongue. Try to forget yourself, and give your undivided attention to the person with whom you are talking. Do. not gape round the room and occasionally say “yes” and “no,” but try to make yourself agreeable. When you go to places where you meet strange people, be quite sure that you are properly dressed, for odd that may sound, good dressing is a great- help .to the self-conscious girl. You know if you have a soiled shirt waist on, you will come, home the untraversed path to avoid .meeting people, and the same rule should apply in a room. Know before you come into a room that your hat is on straight, that your belt is down in front and up in the back, that all the details of your dress are correct, and you will be much surer of yourself than if you have dressed indifferently and carelessly. Reading good books, magazines, and surely the daily papers, will give you many topics for conversation. You seldom find a man at loss for -something, to say, that is largely due to the fact that men read more than the average woman. They know what . happened yesterday, and are kept up with local events. Girls are apt to spend their odd moments doing fancy work, and when a man asks them about this or that event, he might as well be talking Greek. These are trifles that make a girl a success. Big blunders can be far easier forgiven that the neglect of simple tk&ig-s, and the man or woman -who can meet a stranger with a bright and cordial remark and can open, conversation in an interesting' way, is gifted indeed.