THE SMITH-JOKES AFFAIR.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVI, Issue 2192, 16 May 1908, Page 4

THE SMITH-JOKES AFFAIR.

ACCORDING TO SMITH

“Oh, say I I met J ones. You know Jones, of course. Well, I 'hoard that ho had called me a liar the other day in conversation with another man, and so i was just laying for him. I have an idea he suspected something was up, as he 'begun to act sheepishly right away. But of course I didn’t‘let on at first. I just looked him calmly and coolly in tho eye. Then I said: ‘Jones, old man, I hoard something about you the other day that I couldn’t believe.’ “I said this in a calm, oven voice; but Jones must have known something was up, as I could, suo him begin to tromblo. ‘I hope it was somethin"- good,’ said Jones, with a quaver ill his voice. As for mo, I was just beginning to enjoy myself. ‘Oh, well,’ I replied, with a pleasant, offhand smilo, ‘that depends entirely on the point of viow. Now, I may not bo -good or I may bo good.’. “I smiled gonially this time, while Jones turned pale : I could distinctly see him growing pale. ‘That, of course, is a matter of opinion; hut I wish Jones’ —here I looked him fairly and squarely in the eye —‘if you have anything of an intimate and porsona! nature —’ “By this time Jones was shaking all over. I just lingered on those words whilo J. faced him down. Oh. it was too rich!—‘why, Jones, old man, just say it to my faco, will you?’ and with this, in my easiest and most careless manner, I left him. “You see, it wasn’t necessary to do anything to Jones. - It was tho withering sarcasm of what I said that fetched him. I can tell you it was great fun—simply great! And he won’t forget it, eithor. He’ll know bettor next time.” ACCOIuDING TO JONES.

“Do you know Smith? Well, I was very much amused at him the other day. I had called him a liar, and someone must have told him about it. Of course, I only said it in tho heat- of my argument with another man. I didn’t really mean it. But someone must havo told him. I assume he was told. “He came up to mo and started to say something, but he was s 0 nervous 1 suspected at once that ho had heard what I said, finally lio smiled quite a sheepish smile, and said: ‘I heard something about you the other day that I couldn’t believe.’ He kind of gulped the words, and was so embarrassed that actually I felt sorry for him. I left as if I’d liko to help him out. ‘Well,’ said I, in my most encouraging way, ‘I hope it was something good.’ As I said this 1 looked him fairly and squarely in tho eyes. “You ought to have seen him weaken. He shifted from one foot to tho other, and murmured, with a faint smile, ‘I suppose it depends upon tho point of view. I hopo I’m good.’ Then he "went on timidly: ‘We’ve always been good friends, Jones,’ said bo, ‘and I hope our intimate and personal relations will continue,’ said he. Ho was going to call mo down, but he just didn’t have the nerve. ‘Sure,’ I said, and with that he walked away perfectly satisfied. “Now what do you think of that? I was just hoping he would come right out and say ‘Jones, you called me a liar.’ But he wasn’t up to it. Of course, I would have apologised, for, as I said, I meant him no harm. But that’s the way some folks are built. They drop their nerve,at the critical moment/’ —Thomas Masson, in ‘Harper’s.’