IS THE RED MAN A HUMORIST?

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2389, 2 January 1909, Page 11 (Supplement)

IS THE RED MAN A HUMORIST?

(By Max Adeicr.)

They had a dispute over at Barnham’s one . day, over the assertion that the North American Indian has no liumor. Moody that ■every human being was fond of fun and, after a good deal of talk, Moody said he ? d investigate the subject while on his approaching trip to Colorado, and would send home an account or the result. On his way out there the party stopped, one night at a Sioux camm and Moody thought he would nndert take his experiment. He led one ot the chiefs aside, and said to him confidentially: . .. . “Why is a lame dog like an inclined plane?” • . 4 The chief retained a passive countenance, ’and shook his head, and then Moody said: “Because it’s .a slo-pup ! and then Moody laughed vociferously, but the noble savage scowled and went back to his supper of baked dog. Moody tried that conundrum on six-ty-four braves, seventy squaws, and >1 papoose, without inducing a smile, and he was about to abandon his theory, when he happened to remember that Sioux have not yet learned the English language. He felt then that perhaps sonaething in the naturo of a practical joke would' be more likely to develop the aboriginal sense of fun; and he got two candle boxes out of the waggons and placed them on the ground about two feet apart. Then he spread a blanket over them and put a bucket of j water between them. Then h© sat on one box and the driver of the mule team on the other, and he invited Kicking Horse, the head chief, to take a seat in the middle in the soft place. Just as the Indian- sat down Moody and the other man got up, and Kicking Horse went sousing into the bucket.

Moody was surprised to observe that the chieftain did not langh. • On the contrary, Kicking Horse arose Avith great dignity, and approached Mr. Moody. That gentleman thought maybe he Avas coming to ask hoAv tlie thing Avas done, so that he could play it unon some of his friends. But Moody was mistaken. The Chief tangled Mr. Moody’s hair among his fingers, whipped out a knife a couple of feet- long, and snatched off Mr Moody’s scalp. Then ho scalped the mule driver, and tied them both , onthe backs of their mules and started them across country. . ~ A Aveek later Mr. Moody sat doAvn in a hotel at the Colorado-Springs to write out his report. He had on an oiled silk-skullcap, held on by a skatestrap which buckled under‘his chin, and he looked bloomy. He admitted in his report that the’North American Indian, so far from being humorous, was serious enough for an entire funeral procession; and- then he devoted the rest of the document to an appeal to Congress to declare a ■ Avar of extermination against the Sioux Indians.