MRS. GUMMEY’S INDIGNATION.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2431, 20 February 1909, Page 12 (Supplement)

MRS. GUMMEY’S INDIGNATION.

(By Max Adder.) One Sunday recently a man named Barclay, living in .'Wilmington, was over in our town, and he- went in the morning to attend the Presbyterian church. Mr Barclay has a nervous affection of his right eyelid, which causes it to droop over his eyes and to twitch with a convulsive motion. He sat in one of the side pews, with the indisposed eye toward old Airs Gunxmey 7 , a widow lady of irascible temper and demonstrative disposition. During the sermon, while Barclay’s afflicted eye was twitching .away ,iu a most furious manner, Mrs Gummey 7 happened to look at him. She instantly formed the opinion that the impudent man in the side pew was making a demonstration with his eyo for her benefit —possibly to express a suddenly conceived admiration for her. As Mr Barclay continued her anger increased, until at last- after frowning at him and. glaring at him throughher spectacles, she could contain herself no longer, and she clenched her fist and shook it at him threateningly.' Then Barclay winked at her more rapidly, and she shook her fist in a more decidedly hostile manner; Barclay apparently treated her menace with contempt. Mrs Gummey fairly boiled over with rage; and as Barclay kept on winking, she seized her umbrella and standing up in the pew, brandished it toward him in a manner which indicated her intention to move on the enemy’s works at the first favorable opportunity. Barclay couldn’t imagine what that absurd old woman meant, and as hot extra, ordinary conduct apparently directed the attention of the entire congregation to him, he became inoro nervous than ever, and his dilapi-

dated eye began to run off fifty or sixty winks a minute. Pretty soon the. sermon closed, and during the final prayer persons in too vicinity of Mrs-Gummey saw her safely adjust her bonnet, take off her gloves, and grasp her umbrella firmly in her hands. As soon as the religious exercises ended, Mrs Giunmey emerged from her pew door in .war’s magnificently stern array, - and with a thirst for vengeance filling her soul. Barclay had just gotten out into the aisle when ’she reached him. Seizing him by the collar, she uplifted her umbrella .and smote him vigorously therewith sevoral times, accompanying her actions with such remarks as these:

“I’ll teach you to wink at mo, you poor, miserable wagabone ! Interruptin’ the service by insultin’ a lone widder. woman .like met I’ll kemmeiice to hammer yer with this urn-, brella! Take that, and that, and that, you wile, indecent willam, and after this you keep your eyes to your, self instead of winkin’ them at \viciders who’s tryin’ to listen to sermons, and who don’t want no impudence from any low' truck settin’ in side pews, with bald heads and no sense!” Mrs Gummey laid on with vigor until Barclay, recovering from his astonishment, grasped her umbrella and handed her over to the sexton, who began to run her toward the door. Sho fought every inch of the ground, and once, when she succeeded in breaking loose, she started back on the run for Barclay. But they got her out at last, and as she was pushed through the door , she "locked back, and giving the umbrella one final flourish, she shouted to Barclaj’: “You, come here ag’in and wink at me, you disgustin’ .v.'agabonc, and I’ll call tlicp’leecc and put you where you can’t give impudence to your betters; now mind me, you wile libert'ne you !” Then she went home, and Barclay, with his crippled eye winking like fury, told the sexton that hereafter when he came to church he would like to take a back seat.