THE LADIES’ WORLD.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2577, 11 August 1909, Page 3

THE LADIES’ WORLD.

THE MAKING OF HUSBANDS

“For twenty years,” she said, “I have brushed' my husband’s hat and coat every morning, and seen him out of doors.” “And wliat has he done for you? Yes, yes, I know he has given you a good home, and provided you with food and clothes, but what has he done in the way of attentions?” She thought for a minute before she answered, “I can’t think of anything in particular.” “Does he ever offer to brush your shoes for you? Does lie open the door for you when you leave the room,? When you are without a maid does lie light the fire in the morning, or help you with the washing-up at night? Does lie meet you at the boat to carry your parcels when you are coming back from a shopping expedition? Does he do, any of the little things he would have done cheerfully and unasked when you were engaged?” She laughed. ‘n\o, I’m afraid he never docs any of the things you mention. He never thinks of them. But then, lie never did.” “Not even before you were, married?”* ’

“Oh, noj his mother always brought him up to consider it man’s natural heritage to be looked after and waited on-; she always put his wants before everything else, and his sisters always waited on him hand and foot; and I’m afraid I carried on the process.” She laughed again, and added, “1 just can’t imagine . George doing any of the things you mention. He would look too silly. But,” with a little sigh, “sometimes I do wish he was a little more useful about the house like lots of men are. He never even hammers in a nail for me, you know.”

The speaker was a woman, loyal and true, and deeply attached to her husbaiirl. It was the very first, time I had ever heard her grumble about her husband’s lack of consideration-, though often and often I had noticed it myself; and wondered that she took it so quietly and nweetly. She was hammering in stakes for the chrysanthemums when our conversation took place, and I could not help thinking how much easier it would have been for him to do it. But, although he was sitting smoking on the verandah, and occasionally offering suggestions, it had evidently never' occurred to either of them that it was work more fitting for a man than u woman.

And as I walked home my heart was filled with resentment abainst the big, strong man who calmly and selfishly let his wife do so much for him. I knew lie wasn’t a bad husband, that he was generous to his wife in money matters, and did not interfere with her amusements. But anger surged up against him when I thought of the calm, mat-ter-of-course Avay in which ho accepted all the little attentions which she showered upon him, and which he never thought, for one instant, of repaying in like kind. And my anger rose still more when my thoughts travelled further back, to the mother who had made .. this man what lie was, for the husband was merely a repetition of what the son had been, thoughtless and self-centred, and accepting all attentions as his natural right. From his earliest childhood lie had been spoilt and potted ; always his sistors had been made to giro way to him, first in their childish games, and later on in the more important things of life. If there was any sacrifice to be made, it was always the sisters who made it, never the brother. If poverty came it was always the mother and sisters Avho felt the pinch, Avliile the son Avas saA r ed as much as possible. The meals Avere arranged to suit his coming in and going out,' Avith never a thought of the convenience of his sisters, avlio had to prepare and clear up after those meals. The Avliole household was ordered for his comfort.

And, in return? I thought of the many £ ‘Georges” I knew, to whom the idea that there should be any return is the very last that occurs; of dozens of men who never dream of taking their sisters out to parties or theatres, and would as soon think of giving them poison as a little present. I thought of the young men, strong and athletic, and excelling at sports, who lie in bed in the morning while their sisters light the fire and prepare their breakfast, and who arrive home at any hour they like for dinner, and expect a hot meal to be waiting for them; of the same young men who let their sisters carry baskets far too heavy for their strength, and who spend as much on an -afternoon’s pleasure as Avould buy the new fur or coat the sister needs, but goes without. , And I know that the young men of whom 1 was thinking were not cruel or vicious, hut were just careless and indifferent; that they were very often fine material spoilt in the making by foolish, over-indulgent mothers, who, by their own self-denial and the sacrifice of their daughters, bring up a race of men selfish and self-ccntijed, who accept all that is done for them as their natural right, regard their sisters as people to administer their wants, absolutely disregard their own obligations, and in time become selfish, indifferent husbands of the “George” typeIt isn’t always that such men marry such sweet, philosophical' women like my friend, who can treat their shortcomings as a joke, even though they wound at times. There are many high-ly-strung, sunersensitivo women, who give freely and generously, but demand sonic return of consideration and effection. To such a woman a husband of the “George” type means unhappiness, sometimes tragedy; and the shipwreck of many, a home can be traced back to the mother, who, in her pathetic over-fondness, never taught her boy the beauty of self-denial, and brought him up to think the whole duty of a man was to stand with his hands in liis pocket and offer suggestions, while liis wife brushed his liat or staked up the chrysanthemums.