Page 2 Advertisements Column 1

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2610, 18 September 1909, Page 2 (Supplement)

Sirs Bayne was glancing over the evening jp'aper. “Is it go tog to be fine to-morrow?” asked her husband, who always read the' weather probabilities first. “Perfectly lovely,” replied Mrs Payne, absently; “there are no fewer than seven, baa-gain sales advertised 1” TUie sages of the village were discussing the veracity of old S<i Perkins wheii Uncle Bill Abbott ambled ,in. “What- do you think about.it, Uncle Bill?’’ they asked him. “Would you call Si Perkins a, liar?” “Waal,” answered Uncle Bill, slowly, as ho thoughtfully studded th© oeilmg, “I don’t know as I’d go so far as to ©all ,him a liar.exactly, but I know this much: when feedto’ time comes, in order to get any response from his pigs he has to get somebody else to call ’em for him.”

NO MURDER THERE. Merrill E. Gates, (secretary of the Board of Indian. 1 Commissioners, was describing in Washington the splendid •work that his .board is doing to wipe out the tuberculosis scourge which at one time threatened to miako the American Indian .extinct. “But the Indian,” isaid Mr Gates, “needs to - educated in sanitation. He iis Shockingly ignorant there. In fact, he as as iignonant as an old farmer I used .to know in Warsaw. “A friend' dropped in on. this old farmer as he was frying a bit of baoori. “ ‘Grand bacon, that,’ said the friend,, sniffing affably. “ ‘Grand bacon! Well, I guess it is grand bacon,’ said the old man, turning the slices, in the pan. ‘And it’s none o’ (ycr murdered stuff, neither. That'pig died a natural doatb.’ ”