A STARTLING DEDUCTION.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2652, 6 November 1909, Page 4 (Supplement)

A STARTLING DEDUCTION.

Keogh: It’s all blarney about- brain - warrk being the hardest. Ryan: How do yez make tliet out? Iveogh: Och wirrasthrew I Ink at thini nan’s, hacked and bruised. Begob, if brain wurrlc ’ud be doin’ tliet wid there heads, there ’ud be no call for shillelaghs. ' * THE SPELLING CLASS. Teacher: Spell coincidence, Willie. Willy: I can’t spell it, but I can tell what it means. Teacher: Well, what does it mean? Willie: Twins. “Who gave the bride away?” “Her little brother. He stood upright iu the middle of the ceremony and yelled, ‘Hurrah, Fanny, you’vegot him at last! ’ ” “Life at best is but a gloomy prison.” said the moralising bachelor. X. “So much the worse for men who k deliberately choose solitary confinement,” remarked the girl who had her trap set. “Oh. dear!” sighed her husband’s wife. “I can’t find a pin anywhere, t wonder where all the pins go to, auywav.” “That's a difficult question to answer.” replied his wife’s husband, “because, they are always pointed to onedirection and headed another.” Office Roy: “Miss Keyes, please let me look at vour face?” Miss Keyes: “What for?” Office Boy: “Why, the boss said some of the* paint was scratched off his typewriter. I didn’t know whether hemeant you or the machine!”