Wit and Humour.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVII, Issue 2676, 4 December 1909, Page 4 (Supplement)

Wit and Humour.

A stout, over-dressed woman, talking to a friend, said: —“Yes, since John came into his money we have -a nice country house, horses, cows, pigs, hens, and—” “That must be charming!” broke in the other. “You can have all the fresh eggs you want, and —” “'Oh. well,” hastily interrupted the first speaker, “of course the hens can lay if they like to, but- in our position it isn’t at all necessary.” JUST A RUMOUR. Mother Hopkins told me that she heard Green’s Avife say that John Harris’ Avife told her that Granny Hopkins heard the Widow Barker say that Captain Wood’s wife thought Colonel Hopkins’ Avife believed that old Miss Lamb reckoned that she heard John Fink’s wife saA' that her mother told her old Miss "Jenks heard Granny Cook say that it was nothing more than she" had expected from the very beginning!

POSITIVELY WORSE THAN NEW \ ZEALAND. *

This is a st-ory told by a commercial traveller after a' trip through Southern Canada: —“Being impatient to get out of a sleepy little town I hurried to the station. After a -while an object slowly emerged from the distance, and slunk * * up alongside. I boarded the solitary coach, and ofter a tedious wait, the engine began to gasp feebly. i£ie old coach, creaked a little, hut the train did not move. I was about to get out to see what was the matter, when the forward door of the coach was suddenly flung open, and a head popped in. •Hey you, said the engineer leering at me/ ‘climb ofi till I get a start, will ye?”