THE LADIES'S WORLD.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXVIII, Issue 2739, 18 February 1910, Page 3

THE LADIES'S WORLD.

FABLES FOR THE FAIR

I. THE WOMAN WHO TALKED WELL.

There was once a woman who had remarkable conversational powers. Her friends admired lier very much. Once they planned a dinner in her honor. To this party they invited a man who was what is known as “the life of the occasion.” Ho was one of those people who set the table in a roar. The hostess had planned for him to take out ihe woman of conversational powers. To her surprise, he refused, politely, hut forcibly, to do this. “Why, I thought ■ you would enjoy each other so much!” said the hostess. “She is such a fascinating talker—so brilliant! You, of all people, would appreciate her.” “On the contrary,” said the mail who could set the table in a roar. z ‘Far from it. That woman irritates me beyond endurance. Every time I open my mouth she knows what I am going to say before hand, and, more than that, she talks all the. time herself.” “Hero is a list of the ladies,” said the hostess. “Take your choice.” “I will take this one,” said he, “for she stutters'.”’ This teaches us that birds of a feather occasionally prefer to lloclc apart.

11. THE WOMAN AND HER THEORY. There was once a woman who had a theory that man did not care for too much intellectuality in her sex. After this theory she shaped her actions, which showed lier to have been a remarkab a woman. One day a man asked her .f she: belonged to his sister’s Ibsen Ulub.

“Oh, no,” she answered; 1 cannot understand Ibsen at all.”

The next time he called lie brought her a bunch of violets and asked her if she road Maeterlinck.

“No; I think it is very silly,” idle replied.

Then the man brought lier a box of chocolates, remarking, “ 'Sweets to the sweet’ —do you not think Shakespeare was right?” “Shakespeare?” she said. “Oh. yes, I have read a little of his works, but I do not see- much sense in them, to tell the truth.”

The woman saw she was making progress. Now was her time to stop, but this she did not perceive. “Nav. nay,” said the man, “This is toe much. Not. to understand Ibsen shows that you are a good woman ; to think Maeterlinck silly augurs well for your intelligence; hut not to seo much sense in Shapcspeare implies that veil are uneducated.”

And he did not call again. This teaches us that it is possible to get too much of a good thing. 111. THE WOMAN WHO PLAYED “CYRANO.”

There was once a woman wh 0 was very plain. She was also very clever. She had a friend who was- far from being either. Her friend was much interested in a brilliant man who was an author. The author begged to correspond with lier, but she knew he would not care to keep it up long, because she could not write clever letters, nor understand them, tor that matter. “I will write them for you,” said the plain woman. 1 think it would he amusing, and 1 should like to he amused.”

“Oh, how kind you are!” said her friend, gratefully.

The woman had seen “Cyrano,” and so she knew how these things worked.

She wrote many letters, and also taught her friend to play up to them subsequently in conversation. Finally the author got to the point where he, as it were, offered to share- his desk with .her.

“It is now time for a coup d’etat,” said the woman. “You must toll him the truth, and- let him seo wild it is that he really loves.” Her friend was frightened, and when the author came again she confessed. “You hove been laboring under a delusion,” she said. “I cannot tell a lie, because you would certainly find me out later. She wrote them.”

“Who? That thin one?” said the author, in surprise. “You don’t say

“Shall T call her down?” said the friend, sadly. “Not bv a great deal,” said the author, decided.lv. “Why do we want her?”

“Why!” exclaimed the friend “Don’t you want to marry her?”

“You precious little idiot!” said the author. “Do you imagine that a man marries a portfolio? Now, don’t cry. or you’ll make your lovely eyes all red.”

This teaches ns that literature is one tiling and life another.. —Josephine Daskam.