THE “CATTY ” WOMAN.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXIX, Issue 3252, 24 June 1911, Page 4

THE “CATTY ” WOMAN.

“It’s all very well for you to have a Turkish bath and come out looking tidy! You simply leave your hair 111 the dry room with your hat! But with me. it means a visit to- the hairdresser!” Such was the remark made by one woman to another recently—and before other people! It is an excellent example of the horrible “catty” spirit some women and .girls possess—a spirit that seems eager and anxious to pick out the sore points of others, and to make merry at their expense! Is it through some secret jealousy? Some hidden envy. One hears a young woman sometimes, with everything that she apparently wants to make her happy and contented, who yet never seems to miss fin opportunity for a sharp, “catty” remark. Such a one only too often finds herself, after a while, practically without one real friend. Women are. in a way. afraid of her and the bitterness of her tongue; and there is nothing a man bate and avoids as m’uch as ‘a sharp shrew. One wonders at the cause of the “cattiness.” -It is not the scur “old maid” of the eighteenth- century novel who is the most frequent culprit, but the younger woman who has sa'-much herself to lie thankful for, that one is surprised to find her full of unpleasant criticism and unkind sneers. . Woman, one so, often hears, is not clubable, yet surely we, as a sex, are improving in this respect. The “catty” spirit is here again responsible for the difficulty of getting anumber of women to be really friendly and “clubable.” , , There are so many thing that tne bitter-tongued few are ready to use as weapons. - . To begin with, age itself is a sore point with many women, and younger ones know it—and act on it-. A slighting reference to years and seasons, even to old, li all-forgotten fashions and ceremonies —and the ug-y opportunity has arisen for the “catty woman to make herself very eoidiailj hated. , Nothing is such bad form as the maxing of personal remarks, and many a serious quarrel lias come about through the bad habit of “saying what you think,” without proper caution, or remembering t-o do to others as you would be done by. There is a want of heart about 'cattin ess” that is very apparent, and also i a glaring want of manners. How often lias one not heard one woman making a sharp remark about ihe figure of another? • The figure in genera., either too lean or too stout or too ungainly is one of tiie commonest targets for the bittertongued to aim at.. Most of us are sensitive about- our appearance, and it is tlie worst joim ci bad taste and bad breeding ior one woman to laugli at the draw backs of another.

Then education, social position, popularity in society, success of any x>rt < r the 'want of it —all these < things . arc used by the ‘catty-spirited” to r ake others ‘uncomfortable. A careless word, a laugli at ones expense —and one never forgets it. And when, by some would-be smart remark, the attention of others in a room is drawn to one person in particular and to their ridicule, it is tlie height and depth of vulgarity of mind in tlie person responsible. People with really good hearts and with tlie inborn manners of a true gentlewoman, would never be guilty of such behaviour; and would, in fact, take pains to set any nervous or unattractive person- at their ease. It is in one way a relief to think that tlie ugly sin of “cattiness’ is not altogether confined to the weaker sex. “Twenty years ago, when I was a girl,” began a lady at a dinner-party recently, to be snubbed by lier husband with the remark: You were a girl twenty years ago? I nerer knew it!” Here, indeed, was a terrible instance of “cattiness” in a man. and nobody heard liis remark without- a sense of shame and cf repugnance. There is no surer, no easier way of losing friends than by the cultivation of an acid tongue. The person soon begins to be known as too sharp t-o be pleasant, and to be avoided in consequence. Thus, perhaps, before they are aware of it, they find themselves left- out m the cold, neglected, friendless and it they be wise they wul review tlie situation and reform —before it is too late.