LOVE-AND HOW TO KEEP IT.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXIX, Issue 3330, 23 September 1911, Page 4

LOVE-AND HOW TO KEEP IT.

THE FIRST YEAR OF MARRIAGE. DON’T~BE A JELLY FISH. No matter how much two people may love one another, there is a great deal of “adjusting” to be done after they are married. Tastes have to be discovered, little “ways” recognised and allowed for, co-rners rubbed off. One thing that goes to mar the happiness of the first year in, many cases is the struggle for mastery. “I must put my foot- down- from the beginning,” says the bride, “and show him that he can’t do just as he likes with me!”

“I mustn’t give way too much at first,” thinks the groom,,, “ or she’ll get right out of hand, and I’ll never be able to call my soul my own!” And so they waste, perhaps, a year, pitting personalities each against the other, instead of trying to “fit in,” so that they can “live happy ever after,” like the people in tlie fairy tale. Another serious cause of misunderstanding is want of frankness. _ Why not say what you really like or dislike ? A MIND OF YOUR OWN.

There is a tale told of a bride who ate the leg of a chicken to the end of her life, -because at the beginning she had not the courage to say to her husband, who happened to think the leg the best part of a fowl: “My dear, I love you, and you love me; but I won’t eat drumsticks, because I hate them!” That is a very small instance. Remember it in the big: things, and have the courage of youi opinions. Sometimes just at first, when each is trying very 'hard to please the other, and neither is very sure of the other’s tastes this kind of thing happens:— ‘Ethel, dear, where shall we go to--night?” “Just- where you like, sweetheart; I don’t mind!”

“But I want to go where you wish darling!” “Really, I don’t care in the least, dearest; I am happy any where with you I” . , New, isn’t that absurd? Of course finally the man has to decide; but that is the way to spoil a willing-to-please husband.

After a very little while of asking what she wishes to do, and never getting .a definite and direct answer, be will naturally give it up and do as he chooses.

So, for pity’s sake, when 3*oll are asked wliat you want to do, where you want to go. say something. It may 7 be the wrong thing, but say it. You may plump for the Hippodrome, and afterwards wish you had chosen the Coliseum, and vice-versa; you may choose to have your room upholstered in blue, and afterwards discover you would have preferred rose. But never mind ; stick to it.

Be anything but a jellyfish person. They are so horrid to live with, so unsatisfactory, and they are tho people vuho make men domineering and selfish. TOO MUCH ATTENTION.

I have heard it said that brides spoil their husbands by showering on them so many little attentions at first, until at last they are demanded .as a right. Personally. I do not think either husband or wife can show the other too much love and attention; but nothing on either side should ever be taken as a matter of course. Things that are a. matter of course are dull, and dulness kills love more quickly than anything else. Most brides would be a good deal happier if only their husbands realised that it takes time to make a good housekeeper, and still more time to develop a home-maker. A girl is not born a wife and a housekeeper, and she has kits to learn. If she is the right sort of girl,* given time, she will learn all that is necessary; but at first she will make mistakes. And her mistakes will cost money, for she very often buys badly and cooks worse.