"TIGHTEST WADS ON EARTH.”

Gisborne Times, Volume XXIX, Issue 3333, 27 September 1911, Page 3

" TIGHTEST WADS ON EARTH.”

YANKEE JUDCE ON NEW ZEALAND.

"AS OTHERS SEE US.”

"There’s is no place like home.” So at least thinks Mr Walter C. Kelly, a "famous Virginian judge,” whose fame appears to be confined to Virginia. This gentleman recently completed a world’s tour, during which he travelled some 24,000 miles, and sampled a good bit of King George’s dominions. The result- is that he is glad to be hack in America, where no doubt lie finds his humor more appreciated than, elsewhere, and his comparisons of America with' other countries 1 quite to the taste of the people. This is what he says : "For peace and comfort, for good wages for the working man, opportunity for talent or genius, common conveniences that in older lands have not even, become necessities, and for allround life of ease and comfort, we have the rest of the World distanced.”

And then, lie l goes for pool* little New Zealand and her people. Heai'ken to him, proud residents in “God’s Own Country.” : “New Zealand is a country you read a. lot about because it is supposed to be advanced. I was there last summer —that is, summer in New Zeeland and winter here, and I’ll never go there any more. No doubt New Zealand is a prosperous country in spots. It is a country where the women vote. And it is entirely under the domination of Scotch Presbyterians. Heaven 1 save us from the kind of laws they have in New Zealand! They haven’t been able to stop the sun shining yet, but they’ll try to. do it Now Zealand as a country i<a'the result of the poverty in England and Scotland. The people of. New Zealand are so afraid they may happen back into their old starvation state that they are the- tightest wads on the habitable globe. A New Zealander wouldn’t give five cents to see King George and Queen Mary on a double trapeze act.” But Australia is quite another dish — a dish much- to Mr Kelly’s liking, thanks chiefly, it -seems, to Mr Bill Corbett, <of Sydney. Listen:— “Australia is a country like- otur Middle in respect to the people. It is also a- country of spacious solitudes. There are places in Australia where a ghost would be companionable. The cities are regular places-. Sydney and Melbourne are clean and well cared for. The average Australian' is broadminded, a hustler and a sportsman. Outside of a larrikin element from the slums of Great Britain, there are no more- fair-minded neonle than Australian. I met Bill Corbett, of the Sydney “Referee,” in his own town, and what, he did to put me in the . wav of hospitality almost put me Cut of business. The thousands of American? who met Corbett when lie- was here to attend the catastrophe at Reno may size him up as a type- of the- Australians. The Melbourne Cup is probably

the- greatest race the world can show. I have seen the Derby, the Grand Prix in, Paris, the big fixtures at Sheepshead Bay and Saratoga, and none of them compares with this race. There is no) track in the world that can .ompare in beauty with that of Melbourne.”

Mr. Kelly lias a little to say about South Africa, which he describes somewhat inadequately as “a land of mineral wealth and whiskers,” and “a desolate wart on the face of nature.” He waxes sarcastic a the expense of the leisurely railway service and of Cape Town. " There, a native born asked him whether lie didn’t think the town was nicely laid-out. “Yes,” said MiKelly. “that’s so. But why delay the funeral?” Considering England and the English Mi- Kelly lias a good deal to say. but considerations of space baulk quotation. He saw some good in the Old Country and her people, but a good deal that was not to his liking As in New Zealand and South Africa, lie failed, it seems, to run- across a Bill Corbett to show him round.