WIT AND HUMOR.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXIX, Issue 3375, 15 November 1911, Page 8

WIT AND HUMOR.

Servant: “If ycr please, mum, ’erv» the delegate of the Domestics’ Union come to see you about that little shn.dy you and 1 had last night!’’ He: “What do you suppose your stern father would say were he to" see us now?” She: “I don’t know; t was just wondering what you would say.” “Oh, I say, old chap, could you lend me a quid?’’ All right,” taking out his purse “here it is.” “My dear chap, I can never repay you for tlus kindness.” Mother: '•'What did you want vo hurt your little sister for?” Harold: “I didn’t want to; I just wanted to see how hard I could pull her hair without hurting her.” “Yes, Charlie is as brave as a cage of lions. Did you hear about his daring a policeman to apprehend him?” “No! What happened?’’ “He was apprehended.” Coquette: "I told you to ask me in three months about accepting the ling.” Suitor: “Well ” Coqxiette: “Well, the three months are up.” Suitor: “And so is the ring.” Seaside conjurer produces an egg from beard of countryman who has been called up to help. 'Countryman; “By gum! I’ve kind of suspected that was there this, two months back!’’ “What’s the difference between a fort and a fortress?” “Well,” said the misogynistic schoolboy, “1 should think the only difference would he that the latter is the harder to silence.’’* Teacher: “Arthur. I shall lie obliged to detain you to-day after school.” Arthur: “Of course you understand that if any gossip comes of your keeping me in every day, you are responsible for it.” “Do you consider Taylor’s humor original,, Webster?” asked McNiven. “Absolutely,” said Webster. “I don’t believe there’s any humor in existence that ante-dates Taylor’s jokes.”