MEN YOU SHOULD NOT MARRY.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXIX, Issue 3411, 30 December 1911, Page 3

MEN YOU SHOULD NOT MARRY.

DON’T TRY REFORM

The day has gone by when women looked upon marriage as an absolutely essential event in their lives. This is the day of the independent woman, who will 'gladly marry the man whom she can both love and respect, but if she fails to find him. she can and. does refuse to marry at all rather than many to simply -escape any supposed stigma or disability which may attach to the condition of spinsterhood. But in spite of this increased independence on the part of women, them are still numbers of the fair sex who are inclined to think twice and thrice before refusing a man, even if he should not by any means amount to the grand passion of their lives. Girls, however, are to be warned against certain types of men whom they will do well to avoid. Never marry a man to reform him. It is almost invariably a delusion and a snare —to the girl, that is. If a man is vicious, and has bad habits before marriage/ he will have vicious habits after marriage, and the girl who marries him is walking straight, not into a married paradise, but into a wedded Gethsemane. Do not marry a man who is a- spendthrift-. He 'is often rather a jolly sort, with attractive manners and a very careless style, which girls rather ike, but unless the girl is content to face eventual poverty and perhaps something worse than poverty, she had better let him “gang his ain gait" without her companionship. As a rule a spendthrift- becomes a cadger. He flings his money about while he lias got any, quite careless of the happiness of those who are dependent upon him. but when bis money is gone- lie does not scruple to be.g for more, and to stoop to all kinds pf mean devices to “raise the wind.” Avoid the spendthrift as you would the plague. He is selfish and heartier. I.)o not marry the man whose word you cannot rely upon. A. man who is capable of telling a lie is capable of any meanness and any shabby trick. Lying is one of thooc things which doctors call, when they •"■e speaking of diseases “symptomatic.” It shows a radical defect of character — a lack of conscience and rectitude and honor, defects which will not help to make a woman happy. No, the liar is a man. to avoid. Give him a wide berth. AYlnt-over you do, do not marry him. Do not marry the man who sneers at the things you hold dear . The cynic, the blase man, who. has seen everything and done everything, and lost all respect for honor and 1 virtue and goodness and, truth; and, indeed, has ceased to believe in these things. Suclii a man will quickly take the bloom off a woman’s ideals, and drag her down to his own level of cynicism and unbelief. And, when all is said, there is no happiness to be found in a cynical, sneering, unbelieving Anew of life, any more than there is ain joy in a cold, cloudy day. That sort of thing blots the sunshine out of life, and a lifelong companionship ivitli such a man would be sufficient to blight any girl’s brightness. Do- not marry a man who thinks of himself first, last, and all the time,, and expects everybody to wait upon him. Such a man’ is a born tyrant. He seems to walk with an imaginary mirror in front of him. in which he sees nothing else in all the world except himself! The man who loves himself best and first cannot possibly make a good husband, because love- is given and not taken, and is essentially unselfish. No girl can mistake this sort of tiling. She will quickly discover, long before it is too late, that she has got a thoroughly self-centred man to deal with, and unless she wants the position of housekeper, or upper servient, instead of Avife, she Avill do well to give him his conge before it- is too late. He simply wants someone who. yiil fetch and carry for him, and the only love he knows is the love of himself, and when he has- expended his love on himself he has none to spare for anybody else, however much he may protest to the-contrary.