WHEN YOU MAY FLIRT.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXX, Issue 3455, 21 February 1912, Page 7

WHEN YOU MAY FLIRT.

THE DANGEROUS' "GAME OF KISSING AND FORGETTING^ (By a Reformed Flirt.) •Now that tlie winter dance season will soon be with us, wit-I*its visits, and festive gatherings, we may perhaps be forgiven for indulging in a little flirtation. How ninny girls who read these lines have one, two 3 or ha.lf-a-dozen flirtations to recall, and perhaps to continue throughout the year. But sometimes - the flirtation that made merry the: Christmas holidays .becomes -bit tori and the return to home and work means for the girl the beginning of the sometimes difficult task of “forgetting.” There are some men, of course, who do. not wish to break off the pleasant friendship, with its. innocent banter of love and 'Compliment, and who take good care to continue the acquaintance.

Bitter and stinging only too often are the memories of those happy times.

Instead of being enjoyable thoughts, the flirtations have degenerated into ■an ugly, miserable tiling' —promiscuous love-making—and the heart of one or of the two l players in the game has gone down to.the dust before- it. Nothing, dear girls, can be said by any honest man of .woman in the favor indiscriminate' love and kisses. They must, and always . do, 1 bring trouble and unhappiness to one or both of the people concerned, and very often a third party is made to suffer. A case in point came under my notice recently. A bright, attractive girl went up North to pay a visit, and, more for the want of something to do than anything else, began a foolish, heart-loss flirtation with a. young man she met there. Little did ✓she think of the time that lie' was practically engaged to another girl, who was breaking her heart. The man was attracted by 'the new face, and the easy-going manner ~i; the .stranger, as so many men are—though one so often notices that me gil ls they do actually ; “marry” are quite a different sort altogether! In this case the meaningless flirtation, with nothing serious in it- on cither side, was not stopped until too late, and until the man's fiancee had broken her engagement. Only then did the foolish fellow realise that he had practically thrown away Ids happiness and had got nothing in exchange! It is, however, quite easy to understand that many girls indulge in a mild •and innocent form of flirtation in the Christmas holidays for the simple reason that it is proper and natural for them to enjoy the society of the opposite sex.

Only a prude with but little knowledge of the world could be against such a friendship, and it would be ridiculous to object. But there are limits. Some people say the limit is the first kiss, and that a friendship between a man and a girl is not the same afterwards. It is certainly most unwise to allow ••promiscuous osculation,” as it. cheapens a woman in a. man’s eyes, and in one case I know actually put a man against a girl forever. Girls cannot be too careful h<>w they behavei for, while it is only naturcl they should want admiration and amusement amt the excitement () t aflirtation now and again, it is a thousand pities to get dubbed “a flirt. ’’ It is then, only too often, that the young woman would give anything not to have been, .so foolish—when it is too late, and she has got- an unenviable character for heartless conduct. Only the other day an elderly lady made the remark to mo:

“Why do girls flirt at all ? Why fritter away anything so good and holy as love ? When they marry and settle down they will wish they had never been so silly ! ” But I cannot say that I altogether agree with her ideas. So long as a flirtation, a Friendship between the sexes, call it what you will, is kept to its sensible limits and common sense and honor and selfrespect are preserved on both sides, there can be but little harm in what, after all is eaid and done, is nothing more than a game of wits. The world would be a much gloomier place if girls and young men found no amusement or charm in each other’s society, and there would be fewer marriages that ended happily. “But, why ? ” I seem to hear a reader exclaim. “Why should flirtation help married life anyway ? ” Tlie answer is quite simple—and quite true. ' Girls should (a-ncl “must” .if they value their liapiness) get to know a man “well” before they take him for better, or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health —else their house, indeed, is built upon the sands. f, - -