NEWS IN BRIEF.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXX, Issue 3505, 23 April 1912, Page 2

NEWS IN BRIEF.

A man may have perefect taste, hut lie simply can’t dress quietly if he has lost his collar etucl.' A Chicago journal chronicle,? the arrest of a man seventy-five years of age for stealing brimstone, and heads it, “So impatient!" ■Servant lady Rather green ; Balky fire. Gasolene. Pours the fluid, Travels far: Floral token ; •'■Gates ajar.” It was more in anger than in sorI row that the girl answered when her i mother asked if the night before a j young man had kissed her. “Well, do you think he spent threepence on tram fare and then missed the last car back just to hear me sing?” “The baby likes to play with my hair.” • “But you don’t trust him with it when you arc out, do you?’’ enquired her caller. And thus a coolness arose between two women who had been lifelong friends. “Ail easy job will suit me; senator.” “How about winding the clocks every week?” “I might, make that do. But what’s the matter with my tearing the leaves off the calendar every month.’-' Fortune-teller —You wish to know something about your future husband Customer —No, I don’t. I want to know about the past- of my present husband. “No, Ferdinand, owing to circumstances over which I have no control I can, never marry you.” “What circumstances, Araminta?” “'Your circumstances, Ferdinand.” She —The Rev. Wilkins is something of a faith-healer, you know, and I’m thinking of attending his church for my rheumatism. He—l can recommend him for insomnia. “Tribbles -said lie felt like a millionaire last night.” “"Did he imbibe freely ?” “No. He stood in front of a theatre and inhaled the fumes from sixty automobiles.