FAMILY RIGHTS.

Gisborne Times, Volume XXX, Issue 3553, 19 June 1912, Page 7

FAMILY RIGHTS.

A MATTER FOR MOTHERS

AYe are continually hearing that both sons and daughters are discontented with the family life and are always wanting to leave the home and begin a career of their own under a fresh roof.

All kinds of reasons are suggested for this desire, but I wonder if many parents recognise one bugbear that lies at the root of a good deal of family friction and discontent. i: One reason why I want" to be a bachelor girl and have my own quarters,” said a bright girl of IS to me,

■•is that when you live at home you can't call any nook or corner your very own, and that no ideas of privacy are ever respected by your own family. Though a sociable and gregarious sort of person, I do object to the fact that the entire family consider they have a perfect right to come into my room at any moment they choose, and that neither my property nor my privacy are ever safe for a moment.”

Now, this seems a very smail tUng, perhaps; but, after all, it is a lapse of good manners and courtesy for a girl to use her sister s own personal property, and to think she lias the iighi to dash in and out of her room at any hour of the day. Every individual has a right to have at least an hour or two apart from the family, and to spend that time as lie or she chooses, without continual interruption. Look round the average household and notice how little privacy either the mother or the daughters enjoy. The mother, for instance, may go to her room to have a quiet iv<-t in the middle of the day, but unless she absolutely locks her door and forbids interruption under severe penalties, she is likelv to have her “quiet hour 5 cmr.erted into a time of skirmishing visits from various members of the family. It is the same with the daughtersEmily wishes to be alone in her room for a little while to think out her own thoughts, or to engage in some particular occupation, but llosa considers this is just the time when she can come and pour out, her woes oilier joys, without even considering that she is infringing on iter sister’s right to privacy. And who does not know the annoyance caused by those who eonsidei that no personal property is sacred to the indivdiual, but that every little personal trifle is to be used by all in general? “Where is the notepaper -vat was in my bureau this morning?” may ask Emily, searching in vain. ‘‘Oh, I took it this afternoon,” confesses Rosa without any apology. It was just the kind I wanted for mv letter to ”

“Well, at least you might have asked my permission first,” retorts Emily warmly: “1 object to people searching in my bureau without- coming to me first, and I don't think it was atall nice of you to use all my paper.” But Rosa cannot- see that slie has done anything unmannerly in using her sister's property without permission, and considers Emily “cross,” and perhaps call her “selfish” and "'mean.”

Respect for others’ rights should be taught to every boy and girl, and every home is happier where certain restraints and reserves are enforced and regarded. After a certain age, parents should not open tlieir sons’ or daughters’ let-

ters without permission, rnd as I once heard a girl say, “There is nothing more irritating, whether the contents be private or not.” “When mother adresses a letter to me,” said the girl quoted above, “I do not recognise the right of any of my sisters to open that letter during my absence, I have long given up the idea that postcards addressed to one member of the family are not general property for everyone to read that passes by; but a letter, however trivial the contents, should be sacrea. And yet my family think they have a perfect rigbt'to open and read my letters.”

If families are to live happily, and without friction, parents should surely take care to instil the knowledge that each member has certain rights which should not be infringed by others.