MISCELLANEOUS.

Globe, Volume I, Issue 19, 22 June 1874, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

“ What was the result of the trial of that horse-stealer?” asked a Missourian of, his neighbour. “ Oh, he was left hanging in suspense,” was the reply. A defendant in a New York Court produced a letter from a washerwoman testifying to his good character. This witty stroke of flat irony produced his release. Of a miserly old man, who died of softening of the brain, a local paper said,“ His head gave-way, but his baud never did. His brain softened, but his hcait'couldn’t.” In this “ enlightened age ” few will be found believe that the streets of London are paved with gold; yet it would puzzle a clever contractor to pave them without it. There have been many arguments lately as to whether the “ Grom ” in Cromwell should be pronounced Crum, and some old gentlemen have got quite crusty about it. It occurred to a Yankee scholar, while writing a composition, to make the remarkable statement that “ an ox does not taste as good as an oyster, but it can run faster.” A philosopher, who married a vulgar but amiable girl, used to call his wife Brown Sugar, because, he said, she was sweet but unrefined. A man was boasting that he had been marriid twenty years, and had never given his wife a cross word. Those who know him say he didn’t dare to,

“Your colours arc beautiful,” said a decplv rouged lady to poitrait “ Yes,” answered he ; “your ladyship and I deal at the same shop.”