BY THE WAY.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume II, Issue 243, 5 January 1889, Page 3

BY THE WAY.

" A happy New Year I” Those words have rung in my ears every New Year’s morning •once I have been old enough.to remember thorn. But after all to the majority of us the year is a division of time—a sort of land mark as it were. We change the number from 1888 to 1889 and that is all. What a pity we have not something more to remember it by. How for instance would it do to make it, as in China, a period for the adjustment and payment of all accounts. There, I believe, if this matter be delayed or neglected it generally ends in the creditor carrying off the door of his debtor’s house, thus leaving the latter’s premises open to strangers. I am afraid, however, it would not work very well in Gisborne, for some of those who owe money are very thick skinned, and the carrying'away of their roofs let alone doors would scarcely disturb their equanimity. They would run further into debt to get them put back again.

About Christmas and New Year’s time th 6 conductors of the weekly journals generally have a special effort to make their papers as attractive as possible. This is usually done by publishing a batch of seasonable stories, but sometimes it is effected by introducing a number of illustrations—comic and otherwise. The expense of the illustrations are rather heavy and it is only the prospect of a fair return for the expenditure that will induce anyone to undertake the risk •of publishing them. A journal published in the North (one by the way never above gulling the public) got over the difficulty in rather a curious manner. There had been former! published in the same paper a number of small woodcuts. These appeared from time to time in illustration of jokes and paragraphs inserted in the paper, and after they had been used were I suppose packed away on a shelf until one of the staff was struck with the brilliant idea that they might be utilised inmaking one of the holiday numbers more attractive.

Trusting no doubt to the defective memories of subscribers a number of these cuts were selected and a sketch specially written to work them in, and it is the the incongruity of their present use that gives them a humorous turn. For instance what was originally intended to represent the poor husband in an old mother-in-law j >ke had on the present occasion to do duty for a nephew, the exigencies of the sketch requiring the husband to be away, from home. Many will remember the yarn of a Napier Hebe having refused £5O for a kiss. The cut showing her returning the note to the one who offered it now serves a very different purpose. A cut of a tree with two men hanging to it, which was originally drawn to illustrate the joke, " After a lynching bee in Texas (says Puck) a couple of men hang about unable to leave the scene,” might have been thought a puzzler to introduce into a sketch of living people, but it did not trouble this genius —he simply described it as a dream 1 I have selected only three of the cuts for description, but I can assure my readers the remainder were put to a use quite as ridiculous.

There are a number of people who, coming to New Zealand and picking up a smattering Of the Maori,language, try to impress upon their friends at home tnat t’bey are regular Maori linguists, bays a London correspond! n. of a Southern paper:—A young gentleman of aristocratic bearing who had been to New Zealand, was bent on displaying his knowledge of Maori before a crowd of admirers, at one of the matches played by the Maoris in England. Entering the pavilion, he called to Karauria : " Ehoa, Maori man 1 Haera mai ! kapai te waipiro.” " No, thank you, Mr Whiteman, I do not drink,” replied Karauria in perfect English, and with crushing effect. The crowd roared and the young swell looked as though he bad swallowed half a pound of cayenne pepper, and it was coming out of him through his skin.

Who would be a millionaire ? A compositor, M. Ailamacher by name, employed in a printing Office at Versailles, some three or four mouths ago received a letter from America informing him that he had been made sole legatee of a M. Tousiet, whose life he had saved, and who dying childless, had left him the tidy little sum of £1,250,000. This M. Tousiet bad been a printer himself, and just 40 years ago had gone to America and founded a French paper in San Francisco. With the money he thus made, he became a speculator in mines, with lucky results. The new made millionaire received the news in a curious manner. At first he nearly fainted, and then began to play all kinds of antics. He danced about like one possessed; made ineffective attempts to stand on his head, and wound up by shaking hands all round with his as tonished companions and informing them that he was a millionaire. It is, of course, quite possible the news may be too good to be true.

But now comes the sequel. No sooner had the news of the compositor's luck become Known than the prospective millionaire was inundated with letters from all over the country. Eight hundred of these were from women who offered to die for him if necessary ; 230 came from patentees anxious to push their inventions; 30 more were from people who wanted to float newspapers, waterworks; and every other conceivable kind of financial undertaking ; 27 poets wrote offering copies of their latest productions; while a myriad of others came from tradesmen, professional men, painters, musicians, and others. The addresses on some of these epistles were curious. “To M. Allemacher, ex-Printer ” was one, “ To the Heir of Five Million Dollars at Versailles ” was another. A third read “ To M. Allemacher, of Versailles, the Impersonation of Virtue Rewarded.” The whereabouts of the poor victim are unknown, except to a chosen band, but very few of the numerous letters have reached his own hands.

Some people have a curious way of paying debts. We have all heard of the person who gave his promissory note and then said, “ Thank God, that’s paid I” and olso of the young man who was determined to live within hia means, even if he had to borrow money to do it with. I have a story, the truth of which I can vouch for, of a certain person in Gisborne who, being unemployed, was deeply cast down because he owed a few debts. In* deed, he was so much affected as to be unable to look for work, and the owing of a few pounds seemed to prey as heavily upon his mind as a debt of hundreds would have upon that of others. But suddenly a change came oyer him. He was noticed to have regained his spirits and very shortly he was in work. The change was so noticeable that enquiry was made as to the cause. Oh, he had paid those few bits of debts, and wag now clear. But how had he paid them ? A friend had lent him some money, and he could honestly say he owed nothing now ! And this it was made him so cheerful I

Emerson says that- " with consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do.” The people of Gisborne were never renowned for sticking to one thing for very long, and the oil meeting the other night is another example of this. When at Rome you should do as Rome does. When last May Fleming came "over to test the well everyone was righteously indignant that he should have been baulked iu bis purpose. No one asked whe her it was quite right for him to take the steps he di i. Weaver was then miles away f Now it is- Weaver’s turn. He explnius everything Satisfactorily. If the papers knew as muon as he did they would nut say what they have said and so on. The shareholders are now righteously indignant with the Director*. Kut then you see the Directors are miles away ! So unbounded confidence in Mr VVeaver is the result. Isn't it rather iucoosisteut to have to call meetings to pass such resolutions when a few enquiries could have ensured the same confidence ? Mabk.