Blazes!

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume II, Issue 251, 24 January 1889, Page 3

Blazes!

A clever writer in a Queensland paper thus describes the new arrival:— The fat man from down South—the fattest and rosiest and juiciest specimens come from New Zealand—is very much in evidence in the streets of Brisbane these hot days. Should you fail to discover him by fleshiness and rubicund color, the fashion and texture of his garments would betray him. Under the heavy products of New Zealand looms—admirable articles though they be in the land which makes them—he plods bravely along under a Queensland sun, exuding at every pore. He employs strong language in telling you how hot it is. All day long there is a consuming thirst upon him, and he long* fol a cool pint of Dunedin ale to moisten his parching palate. The bear in Brisbane, h< says, is luke-warm in th* mouth, and, more-

over, he dreads drinking anything strong in these parts, as he has been forewarned about heat-apoplexy and sunstroke, and tha “ jim jams,” and other horrors attendant on sub-tropical potations. The “ prickly heat” has seized on him badly also. His nose and facial clearing generally are covered with spots like scarlatina. He is i ull.bearded like the pard and would shave, h* tells you, but for the state of his throat and ohin. He yearns to pull down his socks in the street, and scratch himself like a newly caught Hielandman. He drinks all the hop-beer and lemon-squash and warm water and tea he can lay his hands on, with the result, of course, of stimulating the fountains of perspiration to increased activity. Brisbane he thinks a fine place—much finer than Weilington or Oatnaru, but too much blessed with flies and mosquitoes and thermometer weather. He is incessantly inquiring how long the summer lasts here, and when told that things will cool down a little in May or June, he looks desperate and inconsolate by turns. He can’t eat anything to speak of but porridge and puddings and “pap” of that sort, and he wonders ruefully if his normal healthy appetite for butcher’s meat is gene for ever. He declares half the girls in

Brisbane have prickly heat on their nose* and chin* like himself. In short, he is dyspeptic and bilious and out of sorts with himself and his environment- He might count for something (n slow-going New Zealand, but he admits, himself, he is of mighty little account in bustling Brisbane. Let him take heart of grace, however, if he should read this friendly sketch, and shedding hi* heavy tweeds and bard sombre hat, don the light whit* raiment of Bahanaland. Soon, with less to drink and returning appetite, life will assume a more cheerful aspect, and under the cool verandah he will learn to feel the glory of the evening sky, or to enjoy a genial pipe over the “ National " Boomerang | nay, on a closer inspection he may come to dis cover that th* chins of our girl* hav* nc prickly pimplssor other excrescences, thongl their faces may lack something of th* florit bWnoitse jirlt he left bihiad him it

By the death of Mr Thompson, the mastership of the M ataman school becomes vacant. The appointment is worth £7 10s a month. The emoluments are not equal to a laborer’s wages, but in order to secure them the aspirant must be a properly certificated teacher, to be which he must have passed throngh all the agonies of repeated examinations; he must have crammed his head with all sorts of knowledge that he will never be ca’led upon to impart to any sort or description of pupil in or ont of a State School; he must have put up with the snubs of Inspectors, and accept with meekness any insults to which he may be subjected by bumpkins whose dense ignorance and vulgarity are often their only qualifications for seats on a School Committee ; he must have practised economy and self-denial, and have mortified his flesh to fit him for a position in which the slightest exhibition of pride or arrogance would instantly bring upon him the censure of his superiors, and his superiors are the little ragamuffins he is called upon to teach. Thus, with an outward appearance of inferiority to hie fellow creatures, he may cherish within his soul a rankling spirit of hatred and malice to all, and a sense of pride in the knowledge that he is capable of better things. If he has any sense he will cane the children, throw up the school, and break stones for a Corporation or a Road Board, and find that in so doing he is once more a man.—Napier Telegraph. The widow of the late Hon. Mr Chamberlin has received a letter of condolence from Dr Bateman, of Norfolk and Norwich Hos?ital, a former schoolfellow of her deceased nisband. The writer mentions that thirty years ago Mr Chamberlin gave the large sum of £5OO to the Norfolk and Norwich Hospital and a similar sum to the Norwich Blind Asylum.