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Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume II, Issue 296, 9 May 1889, Page 2

The cat out of the bag 1 Who wrote “ The Impending Job ? See last night's production of Tauwhareparae, and guess how the oat jumps. It is to be hnpe that Mr M.J G. >• not responsible for the spelling in the la-t contribution.

A correspondent writes Sir :Is the exposure of native game (pigeons) an offence during the season ? A constable, yesterday, warned a shopkeeper not to do -so.—l am, &o„ —Want io Ksrow.

The Selwyn County Council estimates that last season small birds destroyed grain in the country to the value of £15,000. It is proposed to levy a rate for raising funds to check the pest. 100,000 acres are in grain in the county, The newest style of dude collar is called The Pirate," because it is an adept at cutting throats.

Panpie suffering from contagious dises sei should be kept cool by ioeolation. Motto for dining-room girls: One hair upon the head is batter than two in the soup. Diner (to slow waiter): " Some roast beef, well done, potatoes, and a glass of beer.” Waiter : “ Yeo, air, anything else, air 1 " Diner: “JYes, I'd like it this afternoon." A mastodon's tusk has been found near Bismark. D. T, The owner can have ths sama by proving property. A sister of a Quebec convent sacrificed herself recently to save a child who was being Vttn down by a careless “coasting" par y. She threw herself before the sled ; and the child was unhurt, But the sister lost an eye, and received other various injuries. An American lawyer, in describing a witness who had been called on the other side, said : “ Gentlemen, I think I can see that witness now—his mouth stretching across the wide desolation of his face, a fountain of falsehood and sepulchre of luin." Girls are more oourageousjthsn men. They are ready to make a match with a fallow twice their size.

" How did you get along at school to-day, Yom ?" asked the old man at the supper table. “ Papa, our physiology says that conversation at meals should he of a pleasant character," replied Tommy. '• list’s talk about Miss Sylvester,” There has been a great revival of values in London real estate witbin the last 12 months. Throughout the populous sections ot England prices have shown a steady advance, which is said to he due to the tendency of investment kt th* present time.