The Orphan !

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume III, Issue 339, 17 August 1889, Page 3

The Orphan !

[TO THE BDITOB.j MKaiti has labored, and brought forth, proverbial mouse, but the skeleton of ;ad elephant, the color of which has been defined, but which will, when thing up is done—when the first nt of three thousand seven hundred s spent upon it—probably be of that snowy covering which is emblematic of purity—and, verdancy t Your report of the last meeting of the Harbor Board ought to be studied by every ratepayer, and you yourself, I consider, would be guilty of the silence of indifference if you allowed a record of the proceedings to sink into forgetfulness without

a few words of comment thereon. Those w*’who, like myseif, still remain in the frosty atmosphere of scepticism, may not think that things are as satisfactory as they ought to be, but there is now a definiteness about matters that enables one to get a clearer conception of the real position. The training wall scheme—that pet monstrosity which is to have a preliminary cost of three thousand seven hundred pounds — has been declared an orphan ; the Engineer, on being closely questioned by Mr Townley, resented any connection with it, and even the famous authority resident in Grey Street, admits that on this occasion be has not been deprived of the use of those ideas which mystery believes him to be possessed of. Who will adopt the orphan ’ Perhaps Mr Thomson may consider it in the light of a step-child, and take ft under hie professional wing on suffranc a . It is certainly hard on him that Mr Chambers and others should persist that Mr T. is the best Engineer in the colony, and then when be prepares a plan, poobpoob the whole thing, and order him to bring another one In, and have that one substituted with the support of members who say they have no convictions at all, and who say they would not know what a green line meant if they saw one. I Wonder if they would know a " green horn ” .—if they saw one, or, if they are completely ra* color blind, would they know a white elephant ? When men say they have no convictions, in the face of the failure that (tares them outright, they can ba excused for turning somersaults and otherwise enjoying themselves and edifying ths ratepayers, but I always preferred that those things should be penfined to the •circus, where we know the 'E o** 0 ** we wol,!a have to t° r the entertainment would be a couple of tanners. When . we get the white elephant in hand, together with the one we have already got, it will be a grand menagerie, and oven [a despised print] will be able to afford us entertainment by its antics. It always puts me in mind of a monkey I raw on a barrel. The barrel was ba an axle, and the showman started rolling it round with great velocity, and the monkey had to bop like an electrified demon to keep pn the top ot the barrel. It managed this very cleverly for a time, but at last the poor creature was exhausted, the public took pity on it, and down it tumbled, the very picture Of humility, 80, my dear friends, hath it not happened with the Evening Concrete Blockhead that tried to amuse its readers by its agility in twisting ? But who will adopt tbs orphin ! Mr Chambers confesses that it has flabbergasted even him, although he still Balls it a trifle ; where is Mr Sievwright ? Ab, let him come forth, and give succour to the forlorn, to the poor orphan I A lawyer, like an engineer or a doctor, la never known to err, never known to receive high fees (say £BOO a year), and not give satisfaction ; they never consult with professional brethren, and oU'aipays infallible, J therefore, Mr Chairhtsu, respectfully beg to propose that Mr Bievwright be asked to act m Engineer, that Mr Chambers be deputed to take the little animal to Wellington and give it to that im< pertinent Blackett straight from the shoulder, If be oontradkta, give it to him in the teeth the same az was done (in Imagination) to Captain Chriep and Mr Perham. And let us have Mr Thomson, BE. (Blooming Enchantor), appointed as nurse (at £2 15s a day) during the growth of the snow-colored ele. phant. Where is the famous B.E. ? Bring him forth l—l am, Boatnort.