The Recent Suicide in Napier.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume III, Issue 343, 27 August 1889, Page 3

The Recent Suicide in Napier.

The following is a copy of the letter written by the late Captain Balle, and which was addressed to his brother Well, I guess I have run the length of my tether and failed. I have not been at all well for a long time, and seem to get worse. Sometimes I feel quite giddy and feverish. Perhaps I could set well again by going to the Hospital, only to get sick again. I think it far the best plan to pack up and avoid it all. I would have done it long ago, only it requires courage. We have all the instinct to cling to life; miserable though it may be ; expecting some* thing that never comes. At any rate in my oise there can be no crime. No one is depending on ms for a living; no one will regret my departure. I was never blessed with the gift of making friends, I found out years ago that I was a crusty, disagreeable fellow, whose company people did not care mtfch for; so I have kept pretty much to myself for the last five years. I think that the blow I had many years ago has had a lot to do with it. I could never forget her. I never told you much about it. Well, never mind ; let it die with me. Life has not been a pleasure to me for many years, and I am sure there is no pleasure to look forward to in poverty and a miserable, lonely old age. I reckon it is far more sensible to pack up and skip now, before I lose what little I have, than wait till it is all gone. What little I have will help you on your dreary journey. You may be able to take in a reef and sail a little easier. You will find a will in a tin in the top drawer. I know your troubles will be that I shall go to hell. Well, if I believed in such nonsense I should prefer that place to the company of idiots,, ranters, Salvation howlers, etc. Well you and I never agree on that point, but you remember what I told you before, that the only difference between us is this. You try (ae I did for years) to make yourself believe that you know all about the future, and I have come to the conclusion that I know nothing at all about it. I have tried to do what ig right and sometimes fai'ed. I never posed for a saint. The future I dread not; and the eternal Sabbath, wiih psalm singing and harp p’aving, I have no wish for. Yet, if the Sabbaths were the same as when we were at home, with music, singing, and dancing, I would say ‘ yes ’ by all means ; but the English Sabbath —no thank you. No, that would be hell indeed, a purgatory. Well, you will please me by wearing no crape.” There was no fear of deceased dying in poverty, as he had land and property in Napier, money in the bank and at interest. Deceased was a Dane.