The Chatham Islands War.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume III, Issue 358, 1 October 1889, Page 3

The Chatham Islands War.

DESPERATE ENGAGEMENT WITH THE CANINE RACE. The following "amusing “ skit ” appears in the Wellington Post: —We are informed that the Hon. the Defence Minister is in receipt of the following interesting despatch by submarine cable, from the Officer Commanding the expeditionary force recently despatched to the Chatham Islands to collect the dog tax from the Moriori population Waitangi, Chathams, Thursday. Sir—l have the honour to report our arrival in this place, and the which have since transpired. As you are aware, the forces under my command embarked on H.M.S. Hinemoa, flying the flag of Admiral Fairchild, on Friday, 9th instant. We had an excellent voyage until outside Pencarrow Head, when the water became what I believe is technically termed “ lumpy. ” The Admiral noticing that the disturbance seemed to be somewhat subversive of discipline, observed that “ he guessed some of us had not got our sea legs yet.” Although experiencing the most singular symptoms myself, I could not observe any deficiency in my lower limbs,

and I felt it a matter of duty to at once parade my forces and examine the condition of their legs. The most careful inspection failed to show anything missing. Whatever was wrong evidently resulted from some disturbances ia the middle region of the body. I can only therefore attribute the Admiral’s remarks to a feeling of jealousy, which it is notorious Her Majesty’s sea forces entertain towards those they irreverently term

“ lobsters ”or “ bluebottles." On the second day out the “lumpy” character of the sea subsided, and I was enabled to parade the expeditionary force in full marching order,

and to mount sentries regularly at the front, rear, and centre of the vessel, notwithstanding the remarks of the Admiral that our “ lub hers ’’ would have been more comfortable in their bunks, Noticing that we were making apparently slow progress I felt it my duty to represent to the Admiral the serious loss of interest which Her Majesty’s Treasury was sustaining by the non collection of the dog tax, I hinted that the Hinemoa should be required to advance at the double. The Admiral’s reply was to me enigmatical. He said, “ How can you expect me to go as fast as I used to, now that the screw has been so reduced.” Probably a reference to the Marine Department may enable you to understand the significance of the excuse. I regularly drilled the men four, hours a day for the remainder of the voyage, and they were in first-class order and high spirits when at daylight on the fifth day the Chatham Islands were found close to, and we entered the harbour of Waitangi, The Admiral wished to announce our arrival by the discharge of a cannon, but as I heard the yells and barks of the enemy ashore, I deemed it inadvisable that we should expose ourselves to premature attack by doing anything which could be con. ■trued into an exhibition of hostile intent, The Admiral was pleased to admit the cogency of my reasoning, and ran the only clean tablecloth aboard up to the main, as a Sag of truce, The force under my command effected a landing in the most perfect] order, and without any sign of opposition. I was courteously'received by the civil authori. ties, and having billetted the troops, I proceeded with the Resident Magistrate to place myself in communication with the chiefs of the aboriginal native population. To the venerable Moriori chief, who appeared the leader on their side, I explained the urgent necessity which existed for the collection of the dog tax, in order to support an exhausted Treasury, to enforce the collection of which the expeditionary force under my command had been despatched. I warned him that in default of immediate payment I should have to take active measures without delay. His reply was simple, but unsatisfactory. He raid, “You want us to pay a tax on the dogs, who are our friends, They are Moriori dogs, not Pakehas’. They earn nothing; we have no money. We can’t pay.” I told him that had nothing to do with it, they must pay. He replied, “ Why do you want this money ? Is your Governor hungry ? If so, we have pigs and kumeras. We will se:

nd him some of both, so that he and hie chiefs shall not starve.” lat once explained that the tajc could not be taken out in pork and potatoes, and that if the money was not paid by 2 p,m. I should have to cry havoc and let loose the doRS of war. The interview then terminated. No response to my demand having been made, at 2 o’clock I paraded the forces, served out ball cartridge, and advanced on the nearest kianga in skirmishing order, the paucity of my numbers preventing my attempting an advance in column. As we got near the pah we observed a lot of figures in white advancing to meet us, while in their rear was a battalion of curs of all sorts and sizes. A few yards farther advance showed us that our opponents were a number of females of varying ages, clothed in what I have since been informed is their ordinary fighting costume. I need only say it is a single garment of scanty proportions. The forces under my command behaved gallantly. Although covered with confusion and blushes, they continued, to advance steadily, when to my horror their opponents charged in sec-

lions, and surrounding each of my skirmishers, actually proceeded to embrace and tickle them. Resistance was rendered impossible by the force of numbers, and while their arms were embarrassed by the embrace of the foe, they were unable even to protect themselves from the attacks which the dogs instantly commenced to make from the rear. I regret deeply to have to say that every man was soon severely bitten, and that uniforms tyere reduced to such a condition that I was unable from considerations of modesty, to order a right-about-face, with a view to retreat. The unequal contest was continued until the shades of night enabled us to retire orderly, but with due regard to propriety—defeated, but I trust not dishonored. The Moriori dogs have remarkable sharp teeth, arid are well trained in their use. My men have suffered severely, every one being wounded, Fortunately rabies is unknown here, or they would all require to be sent to. M. Pasteur in Paris, At present they are invalided, scarcely able, indeed, to stand at ease, while sitting is quite impossible, I urgently request strong reinforcements, er we shall have to retire altogether. We are weak and with, our present force cannot carry on the war under the novel conditions we have encountered. I would suggest the immediate despatch of not less than 250 men, Thera are •at least 50 women and |QOO dogs. ' * ' ■' “■ ‘ t have the honour to, be,