THE STANDARD TELEPHONE

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume III, Issue 387, 7 December 1889, Page 3

THE STANDARD TELEPHONE

Mr Arthur 1 1 Always out when bores are about, Just a few words, I'm beginning to think that you will make a first.class politician. Curiosity to know how you came to change your opinions prompts me to give you an interview. Thank you ; but my opinion is not changed, only strengthened. I would like to know how that comes about. Well to be a good politician requires that one should have as much cheek as an insurance agent or an organ grinder, Then I’m afraid I have yet to acquire that virtue. You have it gripped now, I really don't understand you, Well the way you sailed in and brazened it out at Ormond about those letters was the moat cold-blooded bit of cheek ever I beard on. You always find fault with me—did I do anything that could be objected to ? On the contrary you did it splendidly. You treated those Ormond chaps as it they were a lot of country yokels and didn’t know what's what, and they had the wind knocked out of them so suddenly they got quite flabbergasted. I thought I did it in a nice gentlemanly way. Ah, that vrae the beauty of the thing, Taffy on a stick is a good line at election times, isn’t it ? Splendid when its done m a gentlemanly way. A fellow that can nicely ladle out sweet doses of the treacle of fiction

Now, now ; no personal remarksDo you really take those Ormond people tor a flock of geese ? By jove, I don’t—some of them were a bit rough on me as it was.

Do you fancy they will swallow that pretty yarn you told about writing to a Chief Judge ? —that it was a most innocent thing to do ? They ate an innocent lot of people. Now you have condemned yourself out of your own mouth, and when they come to think over it tbay'll consider themselves better judges of the business than you are, They'll imagine it has to do with the intricacies of Court procedure. Don’t be a fool—they’ll know it has more to do with the pocl;et. You can't gat over that word jiieunlary, which at first you denied using, Yes, it’s an ugly word.

And tbemore you let the oat out about the long time it has taken you to fix up those shady titles why the mom you take the scales off people's eyes. It doesn’t matter what I say—the Sunqum always picks me to pieces. No writer could flo that if you wore like eraser’s wife, Anyhow our crowd have got to put the best face on things— What things ?—the Assets—PecuniaryBoycotting business ? Hang it—no ;on the election, If the eleotore were to countenance such things they would be among the guilty ones, too,

Wellrthey may as well be hanged tot sheep as lambs.

Some of you Assets, Pecuniary, Boycotting cards seem to think the electors are sheep, but I’m blowed if they think you cusses are lambs 1

No one has proved anything against us. P—E —U—U—N 1 Zounds, blit I’ll— Hal hal ha I—trapped I Sir Steven Dusty, Esq, Matawhero. Whoa, Hemma I Howy’re coming up ? How do, Dusty ? Oh. splendiferous! Who are you going to vote for ?

Trumps, of course—Rees, the Liberal candidate, whose going in to win. Not if I know it, fie wqut. Not if you can help it, you mean. _ Ay I we muet keep that there beggar out—if we couldn’t get a better man than Rees, blow me if I wouldn't stand myself. If you did, Dusty, we'd put you in straight, but I’m sorry to see you Bailing under the black flag. Black flag 1 I know J'm always tin the winning side, but s’help me if I know what you mean by the black flag. The flag of the Assets, Pecuniary, Boycotting Company, Limited., I’d like to flick my bullock whip over you, my nice fellow. Black flag, eh ? You're too blooming rough on our chaps. Have we said anything that isn't the truth ?

Blame me, that's the worst part of it; if you'd only tell a few whoppers we could throw them in your teeth, like the way you chaps get at our rag— Which not even the Assets Pecuniary crowd can trust. Our man always gets in though. But the intelligent squatter said the electors had been trapped too often, and were pot likely to bp again, and they cheered the sentiment, I'm going to stick by the squatter, anyway, because I rather like him, Love h<tn, in fact. Yes, put it that way, if you like. Cupboard love, eh ? Whftt bind of affection ip that? The same as » boy has for the pantry. You watch ymir hopefuls after they come home from school—see how they rueh the cupboard for bread and jam—how they love that pantry when there's any eatables— You sly dog; I'd like to put you |n with my team, t • ? -

Mr Bigley, please 1 You are pretty welt np in figures regarding the land problem in New Zealand 1

Yes, I think it’s a question we all ought tn study. 80 do I, and I’vp got a little sum in arj|h> metio to give you, What is it ? In Thursday’s Owl there is an article about landed estates. Now this is what I want to know. If 260 'holders have 6,078,000 acres what do the remaining 607,130 Of the population hold? ‘ r T

B|ng up. Jj/gnuptEcrne. 'T'WyFWHou notice that Herald suppressed what you said about the Gisborne Liberals. They did out ma snort. . They knew it wouldn't be good pqliqy to let the Gisborne people know that you had told such a'njce stojy at Ormond. ; That about bounding down a speaker, you mean ?

Yes, if anyone attempted to say snob * thing In Gisborne theye'd have (wen a Jolly raw, and the Qrmbnd people read the Stanpabd too, you' know. It might have been better left out, I guess you Arthur chaps are always putting your foot in it. Why he said at Patutahi that our old masters (for whom we have such a reverence now we know wha| tfiey did for US and without thanks) were drunkards. That was very nngeutlemanly. We never did like being whacked in our young days, but if a few of our old schoolmasters were at that meeting they'd have forgotten the worst tanning they ever had, and Sot up and resented the slander upon the old ominle. I admit it was a mistake to eay such a thing, - ■ " And the Gisborne chaps wont forget what yon said about their bounding down a speaker,