Items from the Bulletin.

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume IV, Issue 542, 9 December 1890, Page 3

Items from the Bulletin.

A Sydney invalid advertised for a you'll to read to him. He had 63 applicants, but •• not one of them,” he oomolains, “ could wade through the leading articles in the morn log journals. Yet these promising brats were perambulating encyclopedias on everything nonnested with racing, football, cricketing, rowing and every exercise, from putting ahead on a man to putting one on a penny. A party of 30 Americans engaged a who'e hotel (the Continental)—where J. C. Williamgon stays when in London—for an evening lately. They sat down to dinner at 8.30 and got up at 4.30 s.m. Two hundred and sixtv bottles of champagne were supplied (many of them were thrown, unopened, after cabdeparting guests), and the affair cost nearly £lOOO.

A well-known and brainey Sydney pressman, who has lived a Sheol of a life tor years, recently joined the Salvation Army. He gave to an audience, the other evening, a slight outline narrative of bis awful doings before he was " saved," and became at once so popular that be is likely to be made a colonel. " look's " appearance in a red jersey with gold letters is calculated to draw many giddy females into the fold. A "Men of Mark" canvasser got at a farmer recently, whom he approached when ploughing. " Let's have a try," said he, and the farmer acceded to the request. " Catch hold of this"—** thia" being a heavy parcel. The guileless agricul'urist did so, and when SB agent bad reached the and of the furrow got through the fence quickly and remarked, " Good day, that is your copy of the book."

Finisn Melville continues to pojnt out that a year out of the money subscribed for fte Bqlij widows and orphans is being paid to a certain gentleman for acting as secretary to the fund, that £3OO bus a’eo been paid to lawyers for attending Parliament to assist in getting tbe Bill passed, and that the widqwa compelled to travel from Bull! at their ngn expense and present themselves at the ■ydney office to get the paltry sum of 15r a week. It la surely time that the secretary Cither gave up bis post, or took offices in the district where the people dvjell, for whose pellet his billet came into esistsnoe. Mackay, a girl has been hoaxing the local undertakers by ordering coffins for living persons, Thia la about the only humorous woman we have heard of for nearly eight years. “ I decline to apeak to that man j he doesn't know whether be is speaking to me or a dog,” said a little woman, who was last week being pilloried by a Sydney police-court attorney. One day there will arise a crop of judges and police-magistrates who will fire cut of court for contempt, those lawyers who talk to ’women witnesses as if they bad forfeited all claims to respect.

A very bad ease is exposed in a N.S.W. daily paper. A bank-officer, over 20 years in the service of a chartered bank, lately broke down with heat-paralysis, of which two of his brother-officers died owing to the conditiorg under which they had to perform their official work. He had compulsorily aontriluted £4OO to the Bank's provident fund, but finds that under its rules he is Entitled to nothing, not having been 40 years pf age « bpn bis breakdown occurred. The funniest thing in any Melbourne paper aver the Cup was a letter from a traveller. He went to the Cup with £3O worth of jewellery, and came home triumphantly declaring he hadn't been robbed, but at night he went to a church-missionary meeting, where tomeone stole both his umbrella gnd walking-stick, a prized article, inscribed I|iih the uames of all the places he had.