Page 3 Advertisements Column 1

Gisborne Standard and Cook County Gazette, Volume V, Issue 624, 23 June 1891, Page 3

* STANDARD TELEPHONE, gTing— a— ling ! The man about town, please. Hello, the wires on again ? What are you snapping at now ?—I thought you were dead— Dead drunk ?—No ; just been lying Oh-h ! I—l thought you said the P.B. fellows had a monopoly of that 1— Lying low—don’t you know what that means ’—wrapped up in one’s own modesty ; or to take your case, keeping out of the policeman’s road—oh, don’t go; I want to have a yarn with you. It’s a moi al you want something —ni more suspense, what is it ? Why don’t you continue your low lying ? Oh, the korerorium is Caw-re-roaring, the P.B. H. is sawing away at that same old log, the hour glass still shows up the reckoning, and I don’t see why we should not have a chip in again just as we’ve often tried to pinch ourselves to know whether our dreams were a reality. Do you think the Conservatives were dreaming when they said the Liberals would smash the country 1 Day dreaming—scheming ! Have you been reading the P.B. lately ? No, anything in it ? Barking away as usual—nearly dislocates the chain when it sules on to the Labor members — Pity it’s got no teeth; what’s it been growling at specially ? Give us a few arnples. Well, Mr Earnshaw, the chap who was called a brazen image, is credited with getting off a wearisome Socialistic speech—whereat the P B. yawneth like a juvenile earthquake, and getteth so weary and so languid. Dreffnl 1 drefful I Mr McGuire’s logic is said to be doubtful, the English bad, and the brogue— The what ? The brogue—shamrock, sonny—remarkably strong. You know it was our own Mac’s ‘‘Na’ what was the resalt, gentlemen ?—the reßalt was thus ” that used to catch on in Gisborne, but poor McGuire is Hoirish 1 That do be terrible, but if his heart is right, he is not likely to be hanged for his brogue. It shows they are hard up for something to say against a man, but that is not the worst;—he will be often on the floor of the House in a row 1 Kerrashus I —Good old Mary Ann 1 That’s what Sir George Grey was dubbed by the H.B.H.— Then may the mantle fall on one of us I Makes me feel sentimenal. And bow the young blood gets it, too! Brick Buick, did you say ? Isn’t that the grand young Labor rep. who has only got through 25 summers ? The same. And what of him? He committed the crime of preparing his speech carefully, and this is the rubbish that is shot at him: the speech was mainly read, not spoken — Is that a sample cf good English ? I'm quoting, mind ; “ its stiffness made it ~ more like a polished literary essay than the speech of a member of parliament ” 1 Whew I What a young scamp I—l must look out for that speech in Hansard—hope he didn't swear much— But the Honorable Scotch Mae appears to have swored awful—to quote i his tirade of abuse was simply a display of buff onery, Buffonery is good— Sydenham Taylor beats that, though : he spoke for half an honr in a wandering, offensive manner—the Speaker had to interfere on several occasions to stop his ridiculous nonsense. That seems queer English, too—are these all on Government and Labor side? You may depend they are on the right side. The Premier made a truly arrogant speech, pursued a selfish course, and so on. The monopoliets all say that—any more ? Some transparent fictions about tbe AdX drass-in-Beply being pushed through before Grey got down to demand something more definite. Best of tbe joke is this appeared after tbe Financial Statement was out. Only the most arrant humbug could deny that the business is being pushed through Splendidly. Yes, they are being howled at because they Would not adjourn the House to keep up the farce about a debate on the Speech ; yet the , Opposition are afraid to challenge the policy how its given in detail. They want to draw breath first, Mr Hogg is described as a wearisome ranter 1 Mr Meredith is said to have made a very fair maiden speech, but is a better silent member 1 Mr Tanner speaks too frequently a great deal of trash ! What was that the P.B. said about Seddon ? I heard something about it. H'm, this was it: Mr Seddon, with hie publichonse experience, will be well able to wipe the elate clean! That's Conservative journalese 1 They are welcome to it. But there is a sequel to the Seddonic alatewipiqg affair—the P.B. suggests that the country should take over all the pubs, and run them as State concerns. But didn’t they trounce that horrible Socialist Earnshaw, for wanting the State to take over the steamships P Slip of the memory, my lad j besides they prove that Gladstone, Morley, and all true Liberals are in favor of the People being allowed to say whether or not they will allow pubs to exist. In England you have only to be a good Conservative brewer, drawing fat dividends, to get Knighted. No doubt the Conservatives would have some fine billets for their friends if they got in power, and took charge of the pubs. Perhaps they would run the totalisator |oo, instead of taxing tbe gambling machine. Perhaps so, but now you talk of taxing, wfiat do yon think of the Government’s policy ? Splendid I —tbe Balance there is grand, But your pun is execrable. I have just g been reckoning up one of the big fish who may pretty well escape under the old system, Judge Edwards gives bis professional income at £42 6s 8d a week—strikes me he has a broader back than some of the farmers on small areas. But the men with the large estates and big incomes can make a noise when they are touched— Tbeir Cry has got a little played out, though; and so has space for tbe present. A Strange Dispute. BALE OF A TEAM OF BULLOCKS. The case John McDowell versus Bishard Finlay, claim £5O, was resumed yesterday afternoon, before Mr Booth. The case had been adjourned to allow of ihe production of necessary papers by defendant, Mr R. N. Jones appeared for plaintiff and Mr Nolan for defendant. At ths outset a discussion arose as to ths bank and cheque books, which had not been produced, Mr Nolen said defendant had brought down the cheque book, but unfortunately it wee the wrong one, and did not yeach the dates required, Tbe batik book was alio there, but bad only been made up to JioTcttber Ust, ths bssk officials were too Busy to make it up, but ba had got a note of the deposits, Mr Jones complained that ths very object for which the books were required wse not servtd by tbe bank slip, which did show when the last previous payment had been made. prose-examination of defendant continued: Had raid the two £lO notes in the large parlor downstairs JMid nothing into the bank on January Slat, on February 2 there were two deposits, one of £B3 and one of £lO. The £63 was part of the takings— not for one day. They might take that in three or four , days. Had cash in hand on January 3j. Ur Jones : Then you can explain why you paid plaintiff in two cheques if you had the bash in hand ? Witness said he would have some reason, He could not explain, nor did he know if he had bills to meet on the day in question. Could not say what money he had on the Friday. Would have paid the money in on Salnraty if he wanted to pay it,