MARK TWAIN ON THE ANT.

Inangahua Times, Volume II, 24 September 1880, Page 2

MARK TWAIN ON THE ANT.

The following pass.-ice from Mr 0. Clompns' new hook entitled 'A Tramp Abrood'ainn a hoary blow at the ant's nm-ient and universal reputation for wordly wisdom :— Now and then, while we reefed, we wnfclied the lahoriou<! itnf at his work. I found nothing new in him— certainly nothing to change my opinion of him. I' seems to me that in the matter of intellect the ant must be a strangely overrated bird. During; many summers now I bave watc'ied, him, when I ought to have been in better business, and I bave not yet come eeross a living ant that seemed to have any more sense than a dead one. I refer to the ordinary ant, o[ course ; I -have had no experience of those wonderful Swiss nnd African ones which vote, keep drilled armies, hold slates, and dispute about religion. Thjse particular ants may be all that the ualur a'ist pain's them, but I am persuaded that the average ant is a sham. I admit his industry, of course ; he is the liard-eit-woiking creature iv the world— when anybody is looking— but his leatherbeadedne«s is the point 1 nmke against him. He goes out foraging, he mak?s a pantur<\ nnd then what doe- he do? Go h-rae ? No ; he goes anywhere buf i home. He doesn't know where home is. His home may be only 3 te*t away ; no raitter. he can't find it. H* mak»s lii* capturp, ns I have snid ; it is generally something which can be of no sort of use t-i himself or anyboJy else ; it is usually gsven times bigger than it ought to be. He hunts out the awkwardest place to lake bold of it ; lie lifts it bodily up in the air by main force, and starts— not towards home, but in the opposite direction ; not calmly ond wisely, but with a frantic liable which fs wasteful of hie strength j be fetches up aesinst a pebble, and, instead of going around it, he climbs over it backwards, dngging his boo'y after him, tumbles down the other side, jumps up in a passion, kicks the dust off his clothes. moistens liis hands, grabs his p operty yiclously, yanks it this way, then that, shoves ft ah-ead of liim a moment, turns tail and" Ings it after him another moment, gets nmlder and madder. »l<en presently hoists it into the nir and goes tearing away in an enlive'y new direction; cones fo> a weed; jfc never occurs to him to go around it. No p lie must ciinab it, and he does climb ft, drag*. <>ing bis worthless property to the top— which is as bright a thing io do, an it would be forme to carry a sack of flour from TL?M»'lberg fo P-iris by way of S'ns'iKg slepplp. When be gets up there he finds tnofc that is not t\\v place : takes a cursory glance at the sro-iery, nnd either climbs down ng.iin or tumbles down, and starts off once mmornse — ns usual, in a new direction. At t lio end of half nn hour be fetches up wi'hin 6'n of the place he" started from, nnd lavs bis burden down, Meantime he lias been over all the (found for two yards around, and climbed all the w eds and npbhles lie eime across. Now lip wipes the u*ra ! fmm bn brow, s'rokfs his limbs, and Mien marches aimless! v eff, mas violent n hurry as ever. T r e traverses a good He *1 of zg-z»g cuntry, and by - and -by stumbles on hi« same booty again. He does not, remember to have it before ; hfi looliS around to spp wbieb is not tbp |w v home, grabs bis bundle ard s'fr's. He crops through (be s»me arlrentures be bid before; finally e'ops to rest, and n frioml pomp 9 nlong. Enc^ntly the friord rpninrked tlmt a 'l"s* year's grasvbopppr l'*g is a vpry rolj'p nequi^ition. nnl pn« queries wbpr." be (jof if. T^r'dpn'ly *bp ' tv^rriffoi 1 fl'-P 1 * not remrmbfr exnetlv ■ wlioro lip rlifl «et it. but tilings- liP got il '' n ono.l rprp som"wlipi'p.' Evid'p'it'y Uk* f iv>nd' eon'rjvf.a in l\plp liim fiei"'if it li">mp, Tlion wi'li a judgment p"rti'iar'v an'ie ("pun not infenfional)'U\pp taU(> hold of oppooit'e enrij! of tlmt g^^s^'iopuor I<«2, and bpgin t/> dig w-ilh nil Micir mii'ht in onpo«itr dirpet'O'is. Prp«enl!y Hioy lalfp a ie»t, rtml cinfer log^lhcr. They do* cir?p thiit sini^iltin? i<! wong, tlinv can'l 'li.n l.e out v\i<ti. Tfien flipy go at if Jt'j'ii''. l"" ns befo I'?*.1 '?*. S-arne 'e^ult, Vfn'H'il renrimif'a'i'ins folloT. EvMpr.tlv o-fjli npp'iß^'s tr'ifi o'licr of !ie -> ng sin oils'nie'inntsf. Tliey warm up, nnd tlie d'spu f e pnd« in a fl'jbt. r i liev lock tbrm>selvps touetbpr nnd oliew esiob other's jaws for a vrliilp ;• thpn tbpy roll nnrl rumb'e on the c round till onplo«es a born or a leg, awd lias to baul oHP for rrpnirs. Tbpy makp tip nnrl go Io work n.aih in the same old irsnne waj', but tbe rrippl d ant is at a disadvantage; tug ns be may. the otlipr one drags off the bocif y and ,hiui at the. end of it. lo&Jead of giving.

up. to* lianas on and gets his shins bruised against serery obstruction that comes in th« w«.y. Bysand-by, when the grass* b«p|ftirlieg?iaa been dragged all over the same 'old ground once more, it is finally dura >ed at about the spot where it originally lay. The two perspiring ants inspect it thoughtfully and decide that dried grasshopper legs are a poor sort of property apteral!; and each then starts off in a different direction to see if he can't find an old nail cr something else that is heavy enough to afford entertainment and at the same time valueless enough to make an ant to want to own it.