UNKNOWN.

Inangahua Times, Volume II, Issue II, 18 March 1881, Page 2

UNKNOWN.

By the Eight Hon. Penchamin Tisbaeii, Earl of Peaconsfield. - „, chapter i. "" It was a regal, luxurious night in August when two gentlemen might have been seen in Si. James's«street. They were in overcoats. The shenooine nobility always vears overcoats with evening jjjregs. * Shall we go to the Countess's P' said one. •Wo, to ♦ the Duchess's,' replied the other. They entered a magnificent apartment, famished in crimson satin. Tbe smaller articles of furniture were of gold, richly chased. The larger ones, such as the sofas and tables, were of silver. Kicbly caparisoDed servants moved sroand and took orders from everybody. Tbe people present were all accustomed to be waited on. They ran from viscounts up. There was not a man in the gorgeous crowd who had ever blacked his own boots. The Lady Zenobia reclined on a velvet lounge, studded with diamonds, eating ices off a silver salver that must have cost at least £7 10s. ' Reaction is the law of life,' said she to a king who happened to be passing at the moment! 'and since we have now Huskisson instead of Pitt, and Brownjohn has supplanted Bellamy, what is to save the country ? Send me along an Emperor, will you?' and, carelessly breaking a costly ivory fan, studded with rubies, she beckoned to a servent to bring her another. There was a person by the name of Ferrars in the luxurious apartment. This was in the year 1832. At that time there was living in England a man zfamed Gladstone, who afterwards grew np to be a sophisticated rhetorician, inebriated with tbe exuberance of his own verbosity. CHAPTER 11. « Tphigenia,' said Mr Ferrars to his wife, who was dressed in an extensive overskirt ; ' Poppington super-Tadpole has returned to Mountenshingfton, which will cause the retirement of Jigglethorp from the ministry. lam a ruined man.' ' What matter, if we love one another,' returned she, toying with a priceless parasol, set with emeralds ; ' but poverty that our son is named N. Dymion, and our daughter Eimira !" In the meantime Gladstone was grow* ing up, and becoming more and more a sophistical rhetorican inebriated with the exuberance of his own verbosity. CHAPTER 111. N. Dymion had a clerkship in a govern* ment office. It was dreadfully low— he bad to drink | & £ in a chop house. Myra was engaged as nursery govern* ess to the daughter of a banker of enors mous wealth. He always lighted his cigar with a £500 note. He invited a noble peer to visit biro, with the view of marrying his only daughter. Lord' Boehampton made a long visit, He was boarded without regard to expense. Every day he ate his choicest of viands off Sevres and silver. Yet be ex<* pressed no vulgar suprise at all this rich* ness. He was accustomed to it. Still he did not propose to the banker's daughter. Finally one day, when he was casually conversing with Myra about the grandeur and dignity out of the title of countess, he said : 1 Beautiful, fascinating being, let me at least tell you of my love.' She was overcome by tbe elegance of hi&. language, and let him tell her. She would not have let Gladstone. Gladstone is a sophisticated rhetorician, in* ftbriatcd with the exurberance of his own verbosity. « ' . CHAPTESIV, Lady Koehampton was soon installed in

I a mansion (it was not a boose, it was a mansion) of superior gorgeousness, hung with tapestry that must have cost at least £3 103 6J a yard. The forgiving banker presented her with a few pounds of odd diamonds that were lying about the house, and the banker's daughter promptly fell in love with N. Dymion. So did Lady Montfort. Lady Montforl was beautiful, and dressed without the slightest regard to expense. It was warm weather for N. Dymion. His sister got him a neat private secretaryship ; he )elt his poor lodgings, among people who had befriended him, but who were dreadfully common, and wore a velvet coat, elegantly turned up with satin lapels. ' Lady Montfort took an interest in him. 'You must be a great man,' she said to him one day. 'In 1817 Sir Sydney Bud" dieomb, the member for Puddleford, wrote an article in the Grosevenor Gazette making fun of the Emperor of Russia. Tha.t article altered the course of events throughout Europe. You must do some* thing like that.' Gladstone could not have done it,' said N. Dymion. • Gladstone is a sophistical rheforican, inebriated with the exuberance of bis own verbosity/ said Lady Montfert. CHAPTER V. 1 Come down to me in my jewelled carriage.'wrote Lady Montfort to N. Dymion ' I am waiting in the vulgar street,' He came. * We must get yon into Parliament.' she said ; * Brushwick has called for a divi* sion, and the Duke cannot refuse him. This means dissolution, and the salvation of the country. Leave it to me, 'He left it to her. She saw four or five other women. He was elected to Parliament. Never mind the details. Details are low. This story is rich. But there is nothing rioh about Glads stone. He is a sophistical rheutoricisn, inebriated with the exurberance of his own verbosity, CHAPTER VI. Lord Eoebampton died suddenly in the 76th year of his age, of too much gor geousness. Lady Boehampton married the first convenient prince. While we are about it, let us make it an Emperor. There is no extra charge an 1 it looks more expensive. This story is getting too crowded. We have on hand a rich article of a High Church Clerical, who becomes a Roman Catholic and a Cardinal ; but we hare no room to work him in without sacrificing some of the upholstery. We haye only to remark that Lord Montfort died — there was a Lord Mont-fort-—and his widow became Mrs N. Dymion Ferrars. We cannot give in detail all the richness of the wedding, but it cost £273,000. N. Dymion was now Prime Minister of England, and always ate off solid dia» mond plates. We have got to stop right here. We have got to stop right here. If we got him any lordlier or more luxus rious, he would burst. Gladstone is— The End. [Card.] All the luxurious apartments described in this work were furnished by the well-known firm of B. Disrasli and Co , Whitecbapel. No goods sold on instal* tnent plan. Advances made on personal property and retired raiment. N.B. — A Countess will attend on ladie*. No con nection with tne house of Gladstone and Son.— Puck.