THE HONEST BURGLAR.

Inangahua Times, Volume II, Issue II, 12 October 1881, Page 2

THE HONEST BURGLAR.

By W, S. Gilbert. (AUTHOR 01? ' PINAFORE,' PIRATES OP PENZANCE,' &C, Those who do Dot know me may perhaps believe the following story Those who know mo will lo*. ttiil il is quite tru<'. Kegiuald was a pleasant cUI gonlle-

mm^mm ■ man, with a fiuo sense of hori >r. i!o had considerable property, and lived on Wimbledon Common. He had no beautiful daughter— but that is not to llio poin\ One afternoon, old Reginald was reading books in his dr;uvin<rroom. It was announced io him that n common man desired fo speak with him He gave order* that the common man should be admitted. Aud admitted the common man was. He was n v v common mm indeed. A tall, shamb, T , ilMookin<v fellow. with an Jnvsolah. manner and shrinking eye. He was ~essed as coster--mongars are dces*e » when followini their calling. What is y Our pleasure, goc.d sir ?' said old Reginald. Beg parjon, guvnor,' sai 1 the common man, ' I hopes you won't be hard on me. Not at all, replied old Reginald. I'm — I'm a burglar,' said the common man. Indeed! said Reginald. 'Take a cbair. Thank you kindly guv'uor ' s.iid he y but I'd rather stand. And he did stand. So far there is nothing very in* .OBB^'hle—JO- tnyra u <any» — J3^j t ig. g^v more remarkable as it goes on. How do you like your profession ? said old Reginald. Well, guvnor, said the com man man I don't like it noways, aodjthat;'* it. That's what? That's why I'm here. 1 belong to a gang of twelve wot-s working these parts just now. We crack cribes by turns. It's — it's my turn to-nieht. And the burglar wept lik-; a chid. This, I presume, is remorse, said old Reginald. No guvnor, it ain't remorse, said tin burglar. It's funk. The same thing, said Reginald. It ain't the being a burglar that t object to. It's the having to commit burglaries. I like the credit of 4 it, sir j it's the danger I object to, I see. Now, by the laws of our gang, we're bound to crack cribs in turn. That is to say, one of us cracks the drib while the other eleven stops outside and gives the office. 1 thought burglars always worked in two 3or threes ? said old Reginald Fraps I ought to know best ? suggested the burglar. Perhaps yon, ought. Indeed, |I am sure you ought, What crib do you propose to crack to night ? This here ons. Mine ? Your'n. Oh, And old Reginald prepared to r'ng the bell. Please dont do tbaf, guvnor Reginald. You ain't never agoing to gfve me intj custody. Well, I think it would be better. No, no, guvnor, don't do that. Listen to me first. I ain^a going to hurt you. It's my turn to crack ynnr crib to»night... Now, will yotf help me ? I hardly see my way. said old Regi nald, thoughfully. Still, if I can be of use Look here, guvnor. Each member of onr gang is bound to get £50 worth of swag from each crib he cracks. If he don't he's sb ot. Nowl»eea handsome silver salver and coffee-pot and cream jag bs T come in here Wot might 'be the value of that handsome silver salver and coffee-pot ? The cream jug is electro. The coffeopot, with sugar basin and salver, may bo worth £45. That's near enough. I'll take 'em. Here is a flimsy for 50 quid. And he handed old Reginald a bank note for that amount. Still, I don't quite understand ' I wants you, guvnor, to be so good as 'o leave your bedroom window open tcnight, and place that salvor and them silver traps where I can get 'em handy. I shall have cracked my crib, baacred my swag, and made myself safe until my turn comes round again. Certainly,' said old Reginald holding up the note to the light. But. let me ask, how can you afford to pay so hand* somely for your depredations? There are ad< z^n on us, sir. Each of us cracks a crib once in four months, and each swags at least £50 worth— often more, but at least that. After earb plant the profits are divided. Last quarter, the twelve cribs we Tacked brought us in £1100— that's £0C odd apiece. When my turn comes. I pays a fair price for the £50 worth I swags (for I have been honorable brought up), and I gets £40 to the good. And £40 a quarter is £160 a yean. And I lives on it. Sometimes it's more, now and then it's less ; but what* ever it is. I lives on it. And tho honest; fellow took a receipt for the note and departeJ. Old Reginald was as good as his word. He left his bedroom window open, and placed the salver where the honest burglar could readily find if. Tbo honest burglar was as good as his word, and at 2 o'clock in the morning ho camn and found it. So far was simple and straightforward enough. But now comes the curiou« and incredible part of nay story. The fifty pound note was part of 'he proceeds of a previom burglary. Tiio number of the nota was known, and traced to old Kegimld, who had to ac« count, for its being in his possessionNow the burglars hid iv the meantime been arrested by th* police and wore condemned to penal servitude for life. So old KepiimM had no hesitation in. stating the facts as I have stated them. No one beliereJ him, as no one will believe me. t*o he appealed to tho honest burglar to confirm his ><tory. Isut the honert burglar having dis« covered I hat lite whale tiling coffee-pot, salver and all was I lie commonest ek'Otro, was so sli. eked at l!e^ naMs dis-h'ihc-::y 'hat nut only Hi 1 he decline to t\r.Tot>oraie ills s!. <:•]', l>u: nrtuiliv and I ihii-.l; rory proper'}'— ideu iti "d him as «r. acCw'J»p!ice,

And ol 1 Reginald was »l«o sentenced i oitnla anl he and tbe honest So ti e s^m works tuid hid many opporAmoral, booM >">« P*t>«lP™* ° f v!ew. — — — — — ■