MISCELLANEOUS.

Inangahua Times, Volume VII, Issue 1069, 3 April 1882, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

The following paragraph, with a very suggestive moral, is just going the rounds: — "A nervous looking man went into a store the other day and sat down for half an hour or so, when a clerk asked him if there was anything she could do for him. He said no, he didn't want anything- She

went way and he sat there half-an-hour longer, when the proprietor went to him and asked if lie wanted to lie shown anything. 'No/ said the neri vous man,' I just want to sit around. I My physican has recommended perfect quiet for me, and says above all things I roust avoid crowds. No icing that that you did not advertise in the newspapers, I thought that this would be about as quiet a place as I could find, so I just dropped in for a few hours' isolation.' The merchant picked up a bolt of paper cambric to brain him, but the man went. He said all he wanted was a quit life.' January 15th was observed generally by the members of the Church of Ireland as a day of humiliation. Special sermons were preached in the churches, and prayers having special reference to the disturbed state of the country were offered. Twenty thousand copies of the form of service were sold. An aged woman named Mary Houlihan, residing at Fitzory, Melbourne, recently commited suicide by cutting her throat with » pair of scissors.

To .raise money for her church, the Rev. Miss Anna Oliver, "the blackeyed girl pastor," of Brooklyn, is to issue 13,000 shares of stock at a dollar each, the the certificate of stock being a portrait of herself. One of her male parisoners will take 500 shares. A singular incident in connection with a wedding has occured at a vilage near Atherstone, England. A couple recently united in matrimony, but after they left for the honeymoon the officiating minister discovered that the sacred edifice was not licensed for the solemnisation of marriages. The bishop being communicated with, declared the wedding illegal. Consequently, on the parties returning from the honeymoon, they had to be reunited. A lady residence at Veriers has just made a very pleasant discovery, when about to leave the house which had belonged to her family for a great number of years to live in another quarter of the town. While removing the wine, two boxes were found covered with dust, one of which contained 27,000 francs in gold and in the other a great number of jewels and precious stones. It is believed that they had been put there by the lady's grandfather, in whose will they had been mentioned, but, notwithstanding all researches, had never been found.

A traveller gives a valuable hint as to how best to assuage thirst. It is a mistake to suppose that the- sensation of thirst is the prompting of the stomach to be revived. Thirst is a tongue complant During- eight rears in America, and eight rears in South Africa, the traveller found it was the practice to retain water in the mouth several moments then to throw it out and take another mouthful. The tongue, roof of the mouth, and even the throat being moistened and refreshed, a tablespoonful of water, with the chill thus removed may be swallowed, and this is quenched. Whatever the heat of the body, the coldest spring water, it is said, may be used with immunity.

Gentleman meets a friend and takes him home to dinner. Arrived at the house he leaves him in the sitting-room to announce the fact to his wife. The friend, hearing directly a clamor of tongues in the adjoining room, decorates the keyhole with his ear. Shrill Voice — Always the way ; bringing people home without a minute's "warning 1 Him too ! Why couldn't you leave him to batten on his usual freelunch route. Hoarse Voice — Sah! Shrill Voice — I won't sah ! Hoarse Voice — I tell you, you wilL Oh, i£ he wasn't in the room outside wouldn't I just give you . The friend, shouting through the keyhole — I ain't any longer ; give it to her.