MISCELLANEOUS.

Inangahua Times, Volume VII, Issue 1125, 8 September 1882, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

-♦ Sir,' began a creditor, who met one of his'victims on Grand street recently.' I sent you a bill in June.' * Yes, sir.' 4 And again in September' 'Yes, sir.' * And I presume you received one the other day]' 'I did, sir.' 'Well, sir — well sir 7 flustered the creditor. ' Well you needn't feel so stuck up about it.' replied the other as he lighted a 20 cent cigar. " There are firms in this town who send me bills every two weeks in the year, and they never stop me in the street to brag about it, either ! I detest egotism, sir 1 Good morning.' The other day, at a meeting of the Salvation Army at Chatham, a speaker informed his hearers that he had been as bad as they wer?, ai>d that for twenty years he had been in the Devil's service. " Why, then," asked j a practical non-commisioned officer who was listening, " did you not serve a year i longer when you would have got a full pension and a long-service medal ?" Printeb's Epitaph. Weary of distributing pye, Pressed out of life, I now must die. I've cut my stick, my fount is sped. My case is empty, as in life my head. " In fact, my last impression is — I'm dead. ■ A new way of raising money was tried lately in Melbourne by a woman of l>ad character, who sued the Board of Land and Works for £1000 damages on account of injuries alleged to have been sustained in the Windsor railway collision. It turned out that the •woman was not a passenger, and that she was endeavoring to extract money from the Government on the strength of kicks and bruises inflicted by the man she called her husband. Speaking before the Melbourne Presbytery, the Rev Joseph Cook, of Boston, said that he believed that the Australian continent had a great future liefore il^ aud was destined to have a population of perhaps 160,000,000. The federated union of these colonies would certainly be a near event He trusted that a free Church and a free State would ba contemporaneous. An ingenious way that people have devised in Germany of avoiding bother l>y begging tramps is to put up placards on doors and in corridors announcing the premises to be the residence of a detective or police commissioner. These signboards are said to act like a charm.