MISCELLANEOUS.

Inangahua Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1227, 31 January 1883, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

■• Gentlemen of the jury," said a blundering counsel, in a suit about a lot of hogs, "there were just thirtysix in the drove. Please remember the fact— thirty-six hogs; just three times as many as in that jury box; gentlemen." The counsel didn't gain his case. A lively quarrel has been going on lately in Queensland between rival pianoforte importers. Brinsmead .and Co., by their agent, offered a bet of £1000 as to the comparative excellence of their instruments, whereuponMtesrs Beale and Co., ! "a local firn?;,' have thrown down the gauge of battle to the extent of £20.000. . This is heavy wagering. A laughable incident occurred in an English church" on Easter Sunday. The clergyman announced that the offertory would be applied to reducing tlie debt on the church. During tho . singing, while the collection was being taken up, the tenor, who is a German, had a solo; in which the words occurred "The dead shall be. raised." He sue- ■" ' ■ '■■■ '- 1...U' *. ' il .-

Scientific dabblers have had a. good deal to say of late about the footprints of pre-historic men which have been discovered in Nevada. The track was about twenty-eight inches ' long, and could not have been made by any creature smaller than a giant. All the work that has been done in the way of building up new theories or knocking over old ones now goes for nothing. Professor Marsh, of Yale College, at the recent meeting of the National Academy of Sciences, gave the result of his investigation on this subject He finds ' that the footprints are not those of men, but of a gigantic spieces of sloth now extinct. Smokers all over the globe will be ready to enahle as sweet incense the following extract- from the World : — Our people, were greatly blown iii their race , to the entrenchment 'at Tel-el-Kebir. A rather v good Btory Is told' by an officer who: went back to hurry up all the men he could find, and who came upon a small party, under a sergeant, baked, the whole utterly dead beat He pressed them to push on, but exhausted nature could do no more. Still, they were ready to try if they could only get a mouthful of food or water. There was none . of either to be had. Only a smoke, then said the sergeant The officer said he could tiot help them, having neither pipe nor" tobacco. He ' was told they had everythinj-; butr-a . light ; whereupon he produced a matchbox, and to the in- ■ tense delight of all, passed it round. " Hoch. men !" the Highland sergeant, forgetting his respect, " ye've got a match?" After that, and with threeshort whiffs, they were so reinvigorsted that the little party again raced forward at the double. The Taupeka Times has the following : — " The Chinese have now nearly finished the work of exhumation of the bodies of their Celestial brethera. • The modus operandi pursued is to gather together the bones of each consumed corpse into a calico bag, thereafter enclosing the same in a corasack and putting a label thereon, so as to show the identity of the bones, four of these bags being put into a leaden coffin and afterwards enclosed in a iyooden one. Unconsimied bodies are . put each into a leaden coffin and afterwards into a wooden box, the leaden coffins being all' well soldered together, and the wooden ones firmly screwed down. A number of professional Chinese resurrectionists, who * itiS'said, '^t £10 for every body resurrected, have been engaged, and these carry on the work of manipulating the remains in an apparently nonchalent and unconcerned manner, the sight to any stranger, (specially of delicate nervous organisation, being anything but a pleasant one. The coffins which had formerly held the dead are all burned. A vessel from China, it is understood, will take the bodies to Canton upon their arrival at Port Chalmers." The Christchurch Press states that while Captain Fairchild was at Waipapa Point in the government steamer Stella during his recent trip round the Middlo Island, he took advantage of a. calm day to -.visit; the wreck of the. steamer Tararua. He found that the Jiull had been broken to the level of 1 low water, but tbat the cylinders of the engines projected about three feet . They were in a nearly upright position, and there- was no difficulty in standing oii • them. Beyond this the scene presented nothing worthy of note. The death was announced, in the ■ • i 'Frisco mail news, of Frances Maria Kelly ♦. who probably enjoyed the reputation of being tho oldest . living actress in England. Miss Kelly was horn 'Ut' Brighton on the 15th December, 1790, and was consequently 92 years of age. She was in the chorus at Drury Lane at a very early age, and niade her first appearance as an actress at Glasgow in 1807. She was a member of Mr Coleman's company at the Haymarket in 1808. While performing at tho Drury Lane a few -years later, she was fired at by a madman in tho pit, tho occurrence causing the greatest excitement. A similar attempt was afterwards made upon her life at Dublin. Miss Kelly was an excellent singer as well as a most capable actress and was a great favorite with tho public. • She built the small theatre- in Dean-street, Soho, for many years known as Miss Kelly's, and afterwards called the New Royalty. : The St. James' Gazette ' writes : — " Weather prophets make so many •mistakes that their predictions, however unpleasant, do not as a rule cause much anxiety. It is nevertheless impossible not to feel some disagreeable qualms when we are told by Dr Stone Wiggins that in the month df March next a storm is to visit this country so violent that ou its journey

tractive powers on land will be of a like comprehensive character. Such a storm as that which Dr Wiggins predicts has not raged in England since November, 1733, when the " Great Storm," as it was properly I called, destroyed the Eddystoue Lighthouse and about 8000 persons, including the Bishop of Bath and, Wells and his wife, besides doing damage in London alone to the extent of, in round numbers, of £2,000.000. Dr Wiggins' storm if it come and turns out to be as formidable as he predicts, will probably destroy many light houses and kill several bishops and* wives. What makes matters more uncomfortable is that the old proverb, •■Forewarned, forearmed," does not apply in the present instance. No umbrella as yet devised could hold it own for one moment against tlie hurricane foretold by Dr. Wiggins. ' • .■••• The financial affairs of France hre in a bad way. The three items of expenditure — the interest on the debt,- the niaintenanee of the army, and provision for public works — amount to no lessthan £100,000.000. English money, leaving only £15,000,0.00 for the general purposes of government. The people of France have no money to invest in rents, Thie banke have no money to lend, and the Goveniment is at the end of its tether. There is no more trust money on which hands can be laid, and before the end of tlie next financial year there will be a floating debt of upwards of £120,000,000. Tlio public works will have to be stopped, and this of course means a diminution of the wages fund upon which the working classes depend. France is becoming poor: there is no reserve either of cash or power ; and if the Government does not act with circumspection there will be some warm work.