MR MILNER STEPHEN.

Inangahua Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1241, 5 March 1883, Page 2

MR MILNER STEPHEN.

"; " TEe HSr^yibwtt p^eirir *&ssfeiblo for the following:— A good story roaches us from Mastertou about a wonderful alleged cure performed by Mr Milner Stephen there is a man up that way who has a cork leg with patent springs, knee-cap movement, tensor and flexor action, and all the latest mechanical improvements. Now, this gentlemen suffers from rheumatism in his natural leg (not the cork one), so he went privately to Mr Stephen, paid his two guineas^ and sought the aid of "The heaven-gifted healer." We regret, however, to say that on the occasion of visiting Mr Milner Stephen the would-be patient was slightly " tight." This confused the gentlemen's ideas. So, when explaining his disease, he stuck out the cork leg, by , mistake, as being the afflicted member, i " The Groat Healer ' thereupon prayed over that cork leg, mado mesmeric passes with tremendous energy, even until the damp beads of perspiration stood out upon his intellectual brow, ' and then in strident tones ordered the pain to depart and torture no more. . " Your pain is gone, now 1" at length quoth -"The Great Healer." "Yes," replied the man with the cork leg, '• Yes," replied the man with the cork leg. "'I don't feel it now." " Well, then," quoth Stephen, " you are cured, and may go." Well, the man went home, put his trust in Providence, and took a big drink. At bed time, he essayed to take off his cork leg. But, alas, the leg had gone all wrong — it wouldn't unscrew or- come off at all. The magnetism, or the passes, or the red flannel, or the prayers — or all combined, had bedevilised that cork leg altogether. A perfect triumph of mechanical skill and ingenuity was completely ruined. The " flexors and extensors," and " the patent knee-cap movement " were completely done for. The afflicted man swore roundly, took another big drink, and went to bed, cork leg and all. He is there still, and vows to sue Milner Stephen in the Supreme Court, to recover heavy damages for the loss of the use of his patent cork leg. But some readers will ask, " Is this story true — in short it is hard, bald fact ?" Well, yes ; it must be true, It is printed in the Standard, and, surely, that shows it to be true. Still, as we are tenderly conscientious about always being strictly scrupulous in our veracity, we do not, therefore, absolutely vouch for this story. "We tell the tala as 'twas told, to us," But this much we do most poaifcivoly assert: The story of the cork log ir, quite as true as many another yarn, duly vouched for, of some miraQu!o.us cores alleged to Lave been performed by Mr Mr Milaer Stephen.