MISCELLANEOUS.

Inangahua Times, Volume VIII, Issue 1250, 26 March 1883, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

" Why, I'd like to know," said a lady to a judge, " cannot a" woman bsconi) a successful lawyer?" " Because she's too fond of giving her opinion without pay," answered the judge.

The wife of a sexton in a country village was haranguing her neighbours on the hardness of the times when a countryman came up and offered soma ducks for sale. " Ducks !" said the wife, " how do you think my husband can purchase ducks, when he has not buried a living soul for these three months ? "

Dredges to the value of £200,000 have been ordered for the Suez Canal. They are to be used in dredging out basins 20 miles apart along die canal capable of admitting GO vessels. It is intended to dig out these basins or stations along the sides of the canal as a means of preventing the blocks which the great increase of shipping seems likely to cause in the canal

The Duko of Wellington giving orders one day during the Peninsular campaign for a battalion to attempt a rather dangerous enterprise : — tha storming of one of the""enemy's bafctories at St. Sebastian — complimented the officer by saying that his reghnant was : the first in the world. " Yes," replied the officer, leading on his men, V-aud before your Grace's orders are finally executed, it will probably be the first in the next."

Au English traveller in India has lately senf home a very unique photograph . Beiiig inth c neigh bourhood of Kurrachee'he paused to secure a view of a magnificent group of tropical trees on the river bank, by means of the camera which he earned for such pov sposes. He fixed his tripod, placed his head under the velvet screen to adjust the focus of the lens, when suddenly a huge crocodile lifted his head abrve the water and made his way to th« shore. Another followed, and still another ; then a whole herd clamlwred' up the bank. Instead of taking sud denly to flight our traveller stood stilT surveying the advancing army through his lens, and soon was happy, fora double reason, to see the ungainly monsters sprawl themselves, with mouths agape, for their siesta in the warm sunshine. What a happy accident ! Our artist kept his nerves steady, the "dry plate" was slipped into its place, and in a twinkling the photograph was taken, of the group of twenty unconscious reptiles.