PLAIN BUT VIRTUOUS

Inangahua Times, Volume IX, Issue 1395, 2 May 1884, Page 2

PLAIN BUT VIRTUOUS

Mark Twain says — " I got into the cars and tookaspat in juxtaposition to a female. That female's face was a perfect insurance company — it insured her against ever getting married to anybody but a blind man Her mouth looked like a crack in a dried lemon, and there was no niore expression in her face than there is in a cupofcold cnstard. See appeared as through she had been through one famine and had got about two-thirds through another. She was old enough to be great-grandmother to Mary that had a little lamb. She was chewing piise pop-corn, and canned a yellow rose, while a bandbox and a cotton umbrella nestled sweetly by her side. I couldn't tell whethor she was on a mission of chaiity or going out west to start a sawmill. I was full of curiosity to hear her speak, so I said; "The exigencies of the times require great

circumspection in a person who is travelling" Says she "What?"' "The orb of the day shines resplendent in the vault alx>ve." She hitched round uneasylike, then she raised her umbrella and said : " I don't want any of your sass get out !" And I got out.

4 'Rough on rats."— Clears out rat*, mice, roaches, flies, ants, bod-bugs r beetles, insects, skunks, jack-rabbits, gophers. Druggists. Th« New ZeaDrug Co.. Dunedin, General Agents