THE GLORY OF TEACHING A. B. C.

Inangahua Times, Volume IX, Issue 1398, 9 May 1884, Page 2

THE GLORY OF TEACHING A. B. C.

* We have received from an eminent member of a provincial school board the following notes' of an " examination day":— Mixed girls' and infant school. Time fixed for examination, sharp 9 a.m. At 10.15 HM.'s inspector enters hastily ; children stand. H.M.s ins-pector-leisurely divests himself of coat, hat, &c M which he deposits on the girls' needlework, and throws his bag 'on the harmonium. Puts on coat again. "This schoolroom is much too cold ; shut all the doors and windows}" Proceeds to examine r«»- ' gisters, summary, logbook, &c. with ! his back to the children, turning round occasionally with, "There's a child there not attending to me," or • ••If that girl with the squint looks I about her any more I won't examine ] her." At 11 o'clock: "Oh? how * many pupil teachers have you ? Four, f eh ? Well let them all give a collective lesson to the whole school ; subject, a ( cocked hat, or a pair of garters, or if they don't know what they are, the ] great sea serpent, or Barniim's white y elephant. Whoever finishes first shall f have extra marks." About 11.80 be- 1 gins to examine the school, gives die- c tation to Standard II in a low and c rapid tone so that they do not 'catch f half he says: "As a fierce lion*** t prowling about m search of prey," I At the same time reads from a card a 1 sum for another class : "If 17 couple n of fat ducks sell for 8s 6d each, and I p lose 9s osd, what shall I have left ?" m

The second standard get puzzled, an i write down, " As 17 fierce ducks were prowling about trying to sell a fat lion who had lost 9s o£d." The sum was taken down something like this : "If -17 couple of lious lose 3s 6d each, how much prowling would be left out of 6s 0£ :" He " fails" them all, turns to mistress:- " Your children aie perfect idiots," Mistress weeps copiously. H.M.L goes on to next class. Ta'< s reading. " Now, boy ! I'm not <3eaf." Children hay« been "specially 1 lrnpidred to "speak up for' the iiispeetov." " Now that girl — no, not yon, the next but tive— tell me the meaning oi" a concatenation of events ? Now don't be a week over it." Girl dosnn't k;iu\v. "Then you're a stupid dolt ! Ca-i\vou ■toll me anything about it? It is -luout a cat or a nation, or what ?"' — *' Pi-ase sir j yes, sir." — " Now which ilo you mean ?" Girl : " Please, sir ; uo, si f " Fails" her. Takes a class in #•<• graphy. "Now all stand — oh 1 voi were standing, — and look at me. Tn.se girl with red hair, tell me the ex.ct distance in English miles from Dan o . Beersheba." Girl: "Please, sir, ir" the other class that learns the colonies ; not us."' Mistress mentally resolve.to givr her ••what for" presently. Twelve o'olock strikes. ' H.M.L, ehwrfully r "Now I'll examine tUe. inftmtv" (|otto #och : *• I »lrtost think I fball catch thai train"), Mistress: •♦Please, '^ifir, they're all ©Tying, sir, they're so tired of standing:; ; H.M.I. "I can't help that Let' them sing; ' Oh, how we love inspectio i day,' and meanwhile show me' your • appio priate and varied occupations/ How many girls have you among the elder infants who can turn topple tail accurately ? and bow mnnv boys who answer to the name Mary and can knit comforters? What proportion of this class brings pocket-handkerchiefs and how many, if any, use them, except to clean their slates ? How > many books have the three year olds ier\d through this week, and can the , whol? school do Swiss darning?' 'Mistress: "PI case, sir" H.M.I. : . •' Now I don't want any opinion from yb»i. Jin horc to inspect this school not to. Jt ear what you think about, i%..% 6ong --"ended. "Well, that's fairly good; only 1 com make ont nei her words nor tune. Can they all say. • A little cock robbi.ii sat on a tree,' and' « A storm i)i a teapot,' rusd all 'Thomson's Season,' and •M.-rtrtlesome Matty' from beginning to <nid with ont a mistake? Oh? if they can't do that I shall recommend the withdrawal of one-half of the «rant." Sotto voco : " I shall catch the 12.85 train, I do believe." Exit, forgetting one of trie. papers, aud to examine the needlework, writing, and singing.