MISCELLANEOUS.

Inangahua Times, Volume IX, Issue 1441, 8 September 1884, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

♦ An enterprising firm of contractors has (says the St. James'g Budget) offered to construct the railway into the desert from Suakim or Korosko, and the English Government, it is said, is Beriously thinking of the suggestion. The contractors will put a couple of thousand of European workmen into the Soudan, and the cost of arming them with repeating rifles, and of hiring a battery of artillery and a disengaged general or two will be included among the working expenses of the undertaking. Daring the troubles of the Crimean winter a distinguished 41 promoftr " was supposed to have made an offer to finish the war for the English Government and hand over Bebastopol by o specified day. Perhaps this might be the best way of settling the Soudan troubles after all. Make it worth their while and no doubt Messrs „Qook could pnt an army as •well as a fleet into the Upper Nile regions ; The contractors aforesaid will make the railiigfc;-;and Messrs Spiers anH Pond, 05.- Bertram and Koberts, will be quite ; prppared to answer for the commissariat:' The combined enttepfeneurs would deliver Gordon, the garrisons, and the Mahdi's head in Cairo at thr^e month's date as per contract. Private enterprise, when it goes to work with sufficient command of capital and hope of profit, is equal to unytliing* and the advantages of this plan are so obvious ! At the Boyal Park Gardens an old fellow'completely bald, sat down close to the place where' the birds aw kep\ Being slightly the worse for several long sleevers, he fell sound asleep, but ■was disturbed by feeling quite an'oppreasive sense of heat. His head .•seemed to be on fire. He woke up ■with a start, just in time to see a huge bird making tracks at a* pace that -would win a Melbourne Clip. He then recognised it as an ostrich. The Btqpid bird had mistaken his bald head for an egg. and had commenced to hatch it. We had some doubts about this being a fact when toe were, first told of it, 80 we interviewed one of the keepers, and explained our doubts. He grinned and said: "Them ere animals does some funny things sometimes, sir, but that ere is therummiest go I evw heerd on." This is all the explanation we got, so we leave it in our readers hands as to whether the bird was trying to hatch the old man, or whether he hatched the story. Ev«»ry woman has a right to be of any age she pleases ; for if she were to state her real age, no one would believe her. Every man has a right to wear a moustache if he can. Every woman who makes puddings has a right to bolieve she can make better puddings that any other woman in the world. Every man who carves has a decided right to think of himself, by putting a few of the best bits aside. Every woman has a "right "to think her child " the prettiest baby in the world ;" and it would be the greatest folly to deny her this right, for she would be sure to take it. Every young lady has a right to fa int whon she pleases, if her lover is by her side to catch her. A well-known Collins street broker, noted for his liberality (?) entered his office the other, morning, and warmly greeted his bookkeeper, who that day twenty-five year* ago had entered his business, handing him at the same time a closed enveloped with the •words : " There, take- this* in remeiu--I>ranctf of this day." The book keeper took the-envelope with profuse thanks, but did not dare, however, to open it. Only at th»' friendly ur^ia^of the donor to open it did v ho do so, "find behold !, the envelope coutained the photo, of his chief. The poor man * who undoubtedly had expected to find something quite different, was speechless with surprise at the discovery. | 4i Well,' said the broker, " what do you think of it?" '" Quite like you !" was the laconic reply. " Rough on cor vs." — Ask for "Wells' "Rough on Corns." Quick relief, complete, permanent cure. Corns, warts, • bunions. Keinpthdriie, Prosser & Co., Agent, Christchurch.