MISCELLANEOUS.

Inangahua Times, Volume IX, Issue 1471, 17 November 1884, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

A muff is deriot&d as a " thing which holds a girl's band and don't squeeze it." •Correct ; and any fellow is a muff' who will holjl a girl's hand without squeezing it A woman. in Chicago accidentally hither tongue off, and sinee that h«r Husband gets home every evening two fcours earlier than usual. No oe* -would take . you for whal -y-M-ire-r said* «n old --fashioned gentlepita td a' daddy who had more hair thi|n trains- ", '" Why t" Was immediately asked. " Because they cannot sjef 'Thei -indulgent father spares the-roc and lets his son go fishiiig. An experienced old gentleman sayi that all that js necessary in the mijoyment of love* as of sausages, is fion pdeqce* . Aooloan>d msn went into m Cakes 4-9* i^wspsjper office and wanted U •4&im^''49r!^W9* t » • How lonjj tfajgqa Jf}n^itjf asked the clerk. • lei y mmfW&4*tfonV.]t it,don»t fit d< sbdy^rlkia^f, .joece off n? yself '

T_' miryu. immrMilJL^ a 'WAV* nT * *'"'■■»■ If a man from Lapland is a Laplander, then, a man from Michigan should be a Micbiganderand a woman a Michigooose. Passanate, who tried- to murder I King Humbert io 1878, is confined to the island of Elba. He is secured to the Wall of an almost dark cell by a chain '- five feet in length, which is rivited to. an iron ring around his ankle, and which does not allow him to.ruu.lfa more thani one step in auy iirection. His -keepers are .-for bidden to upeak to hhn or -answer -his questions. He has become imbecile. The most sensational French novelist ttcver invented anything worse than this of the B-lstile in tlie palmiest days. A young woman- who thought she was losing her hushniid'g affection went to : a. seyenth daughter of a seventh daughter :.for ..a. love,, powder. The | mystery woman told her : * Get a.raw piece of l»eef, -cut ? flat, about half an inch thick. Slice an onion in two ami rub the meat oh both sides with it. Put on pepper and salt and toast it on e: ch •ide over a. red coal f.re. Drop on it iine« lumps- wo!,, butter and two sp; gs .f parsley .and get him ..to. eat. it," The young wife did so and her husb.-.nd loved her ever after. Skinny J^l&Kr— •v.Wells' -Health Renewer," restores health and vigoi cures Dysppesia, I.niJotence, Debility. At druggists. KHmpthorri' 1 , 'Prosser & Co. , Agents, Christehu--ch. W© know that there ia, n<>tliin<r on earth equal to.Hop.Bitteraasafair.ily medicine. Look for.