MISCELLANEOUS.

Inangahua Times, Volume IX, Issue 1476, 28 November 1884, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

-* The niceties of football (sayt the Sporting limes) have nover Ween throughly mastered outside New Zealand, where Maoris bring their untutored intelligence to bear upon thegentle game. A match at a place known l»y the name of Ouehnnga was entirely won through the prowess of a Maori named Dawson, who hit the half back on the other side in the cheek, and when he was collared on the line struggled on with a fragment of the. goalkeeper's fingers between his teeth.. A real football player that Dawson is ! The Auckland Star is the authority for the statement that the general opinion in Wellingten two or three days ago was that Parliamnnt would be called together again ahout six months hence, but that the next session will see another dissolution. This felling is shared by Ministera themselves. They claim that their intention is to bring down a bold and comprehensive policy, and they h-*ve little or no hope that it will prove acceptable to the House as at present constituted. Hence, they ir.tend to ask for an appeal to the country. There can be but little doubt that the events of the last fortnight have weakened the hold of the Governmmit upon some of their very stron gest supporters, and the. policy pursued with respect to the Federation proposal* was scathingly denounced by some of their former admirers in the closing debates. Even the Wellington} Post makes no secret of having fallen out with its quondam idol, Sir Juliu*' Yogel. . ; - 14 PECtrNB of man. "—Nerrbus Weakness, Dyspepsia, Impotence, Sexual Debility, cured by " Wells' Health Renewer." Druggists Keuipthorne, ross'er & Co., Agents, Christchurch. It is something to be an editor^ after all. Amongst 35 applicants for the post of headmaster at the High School at Wanganni was one who, as a qualification to entitle him to the appointment, sated that he had 44 a wife, whoso brother was an editor. * Amusing as the editor's brother-in-law 1 a.p'icatiou was, there -were otliera

more so. Anothwr of the 35 <«i d h« was personally acquainted with Sir William Jervois. Ouh candidate described hiraw fas " having the use of all his Ura l >3, organs, and faculties." He was followed by an applicant, one of whose testimonials described him a« Wins; no " chicken, but six feet in his •Stookings." Tiiia candidate forwarded bis photograph with his application, but not a lock of his hair. Another one wanted a change, because " h present duties had brought Ma a to a hopeless state of •• fluidity. " Yet had " rowed in his college eight, and playwd in the college eleven, while another muscular can ' atWsted of having made " the highest cricket average for the season." — Mount I Iti Chronicle. A most extraordinary prosecutio •under the Licensing Act is repoiW from FeiMing. Mr M. K. Samuel, publican, had an argument with a customer as to whether a certain word was to b* found in the dictionary. The discussion resulted in a bet of £•">. and on reference to the dictionary Mr Samuel was declared the winner. An information was then laid against tiiin for using his licensed house t--i the pnrpone of bating with poison resorting therto. Tlie case his not yet been heard. The Pleasant Creek News «mv that some ten years ago a young miner- at Stawell, Victoria, married daughter of a fanner, and after a brief wedded life set out to the west ooast of New Zealand to "do o-t^.-." ti evidently did better, or became iuca.. cerated or something elsp, for v»«--i after year rolled away, and the erstwhile country girl was left a gra<p widow. Bhe eventually married ■» young tradsuian, and all seemed cal.u *nd bright until No. 1. HVq En Aid en, popped up (with a few hun•dreds in his pock«t), but it is said, no', particularly sober. The trouble is -that the lady prefers No. 2, and tlif latter indignant at his domestic pei.-' "being interfered with threatens to send the legal husband on a longer jonrnev than the west coast of New Z**al-Mid -'" he catches him on his premises. -The seven years — which is popularly supposed to bar any proceedings fo>bigamy — is said to have duly elarH» 1 "before the deserted woman made •mother leap in the dark. The Evening Post-to-irq t pu'l Ti lies an article on the alleged drunkenness an the Legislature, and is considerably less veiled in its comments than w.i, its morning contemporary. "It seems that there was nothing exceptional in the amount of intemperance among legislators last session" adding, "so long as the writer has known the New Zealand Parliament it has con tainerl members addicted to drunkenness." The "scandalous scene" witnessed in former years were absent, last session, and the Post emphatically exonerates the new. members of an particiation in improper conduct either in the House or out of it. It then .goes on to say : — " The real offenders were men who were, not new to Parliament and, so faras thoseof the Lower 'House were concerned, whose fault ami failings must have been known to the constituents who elected them. It the whole Parliament the flagrantoffenders can be counted on th»fingers of one hand. In the Counci"

there were, but two — both men of good position and abilities, but who •throughout the session were literally ■soaked in liquor, and the worse of i' morning, noon and night. In the Lowm* House there were really only three who habitually exceeded th bounds of temperance so as to invit. remark. Unfortunately one. of thesoccupied such a high official position as to force his fault on the notice o" the House, and the pnMic owi?i«» to \v< frequently being incapi-itated forth--proper p<'rfor>nanci % of hi^h duties. I ia no doubt owing to this fact thai so nan -h has been written on th . general subject, It must not, however. be forgotten, in justice to the present Parliament, that even the interaper ance of this I lijjher officer during th last, <*^:o'i wis not worse than lii^ coMtl'tct a fow years a^o when filli;..; a sightly less important office in th House. Tiie whol« subinct is an nn savoury and unpleasant one to writ;: about but it i» only fair that the blaiw should be placed upon the right, shoulders. It is too bad that odium should he cast on the whole Parliament And that it shonld be stigmatised as a drnnken one because less than half a dozen of its members are unfortunately unable to control their appetite for strong drink."

In an article on " Hngh Conway," or rather Mr Fanju3 the author of "Called Back," the London Figaro says :— Some personal details of this remarkable, and remarkably fortunate man wiil he appreciated by the fair sex. Mr Fargnjß is nearly six feet high, spare* knt strongly built. H« is a tremendous ■walker, and an inveterate smoker of •cigarettes. H« has a wife and four cliTdren, bnt just at this momfint no liome. In Jn y his furniture, aid even bis pictures — some of which fetched a high price — wers sold by auction. After he has travelled about far a few months he will pitch his tent in or near London. H« is a good whist player and a good billiard player, but he has ceased to have any leisure for recreations of thU kin!. Ha raoeivea slioiU of letters asking him whether th« tales he tells .are tine. He has been exhorto-d by some correspondents to white for God aud not for the Devil. For some occult reason, the is be recipient of bundles of tract'which he does not read. He gets applications from persons Buffering from cataract, who solicit his advice as to the treatment, to be pn -sued, and fi'om spiritualists who desire further particulars as to Gi Short Vci'.vjjhan'.-s vision. Filially, he assures his intimate friends that the success of "Called

Bat-k" has almost frightened him. But why 1 For it has .made his fortune.

The only safe and sure cure for O ravel or Urinary troubles, ia Hop Bitters. Prove it. Read.