MISCELLANEOUS.

Inangahua Times, Volume IX, Issue 1490, 31 December 1884, Page 2

MISCELLANEOUS.

In order that lie and a lady with whom he was in love might enjoy " La Sounamtiula " alone, the present Duke of Hamilton bought tip every seat in the. opera house at Nice on one occasion. ....... Mr Crcusus (to Mrs C, as they go home from the dinner party) — " Well after from the ladies left, we had coffee in cupi that, so help me t didn't hold two teaspoonfnls, an' I told old what's-his name that gave the dinner v < that folks called me mda«, bat I never cuL things down to »nch a dathed Hue pit -has that?" The affection between stage lovers is so ofteu well acted that no one suspects the real feeling which exists between them The following is acasein point : — Two actors of the opposite s«x who positively disliked each oIUk, were by a joke of tlie managers cast &* y two lovers at. a metropolitan tk«at». At one tender part the lady has U rttah into he r lover's anus. . Being a, true artist she did h»r work with energy, and between speeches he muttered/ " You need not hug me bo precious close, or bite my ear off." She replied 44 Ugh 1 I hate you too much for thajt Ido not want to be poisoned." Wail* holding her in his embrace, he growled in a whisper, "Don't lean 10 hard against nic, or else I'll drop you." With her head in tender repose upon his breast she retorted, " You dare not, you wretch 7 You are paid for holding me, and I intend you shall earn your salary." Iv this state of temper, when the scene was over, they went oft and it seems the controversy was continued in the green room, to the fan of the rest of the company. ; ~ Tlib true athlete of the tira# T Sa^yin the Lancet, is Mr Gladstone. The nation has seen uothirg like him since the days of PahnerstoD, whose octogenarian youthfuluess excjt»4 Jt.B admiration. Mr Gladstone has fever years than Palmerstou had when b* reached the height of his popularity and power, but his energy is faster and more remarkable. He had nofctlie gay and light mind, the bonhomms* that was so characteristic of Palmer* ston. He is a grave man ; he works harder at the problems of State, of political, and international morals, of. economics, than Palmerston ever did. , We are speaking apart from all political questions and issues ; wo d»n» speaking from a physiological stands point ; and we pronounce the physical and eneatal power displayed by Mr Gladstone in the last fortnight in ' Scotland, after five years of scarcely paralleled labour, to be a piece of veritable athleticism worthy the. study of young men, and a lit subject of pride to the nation. •• Why don't you give us ali tie Greek and Latin occasionally ? asked a country deacon of a new minister. " Why, do you understand those languages?" was asked. "No, but we pay for the best, and we ought to have it" A wit went to a party at which a Mr Pepper had assnmbled all his friends, and said to his host on enter ing the room — " My deal* Mr Pepper, how glad you must be to see all your friends mustered !" A devotee of Bacchus was overheard the other night thus addressing his hat, which had fallen from his head — "If I pick you up, I fall ; if I fail, you will not pick me up. Then I leave you ;" and he staggered proudly away. A black man perceived a new hat upon a black friend, and demanded where he got it " Where should I get it but out of a shop ? " And what might be the price of that hat?** " That I am unable to inform yoa— the shopkeeper was uob there." A short time ago an itinertmi band was playing a slow, mournful »ir ? when suddenly they changed tKeir note, ard with all their might struck up " See, the Conquering Hero co«|*s V The people looked rounain surprise lor the cause, but they could see nothing except a distiller's dray with a puncheon of whiskey on it," TOWLE'S PENNtiRQYAL AND STEEL PILLS FOR FESiALES quickly correct all irregularities, and relieve the distressing symptoms so prevalent with the sex. Boxes Is l&d., and B*. 6d>*>f all Chemists. Prepared only by E T. Towle, Chemist, Nottingham, England, i Wholesale of all the Wholesale Houses. Beware of Imitation*. . Bishop Meraa presiding at the Christian Brother's break up said : — "It strikes me, when we call to mind the scandalous exhibition witnessed l in this city yesterday, you will thank God for his merciful dispensation whioh •ayes your children from' feeing told by one minister of religion at the School Exhibition that it only a little blot in our Godless education, and by another that all are proud Of one man who considers it. his most itn'portant outy to make a weekly exhibition of his denial and contempt of Christianity. I thank God only two or three un fortunate Catholic children were, there to hear men calling themselves niijnis.ters, of the religion of Christ proclaim Godless education an excellent system, and the unchristian arid anti-Christian Chairman «i the meeting bold it np for the* admiration of the rictng gefteratietL For yetrf it h*n unfortynately been my lot to prot^Bt against ne"ly> ranuy and injustice that mcliide* our icboels from bH participation in thn fiduwliou vote, M f^sMkm> »« takpayM-s, are entitled, smimitlifcest against the mxolusten .vtmtt&oolß