SCUTTLE r. GRAB.

Inangahua Times, Volume X, Issue 1538, 22 April 1885, Page 2

SCUTTLE v. GRAB.

A Ohronicls of thk (pßOwataa) FITUItS. A.D 1800 Grab Pf>rty in power. Forward policy everywhere. Annexation all round. Fit y million* spent a;>OQ army and fleet National Society to: the seisare of everything hold* its first meeting at St Janes' Hall. Resolution moved that "the whole o£ the world, land and vttr, at present unoccupied by omfued Powers belongs of right to England." Carried unanimously. Scbense, • formulated for rectifying ftrifotiia frfenfcier of wlvle of British pew^sjont. U found to ivolve seinre of 16 e1»o4 conquest of five native races, absorption of fifty thousand square miles of— useless — new territory, seven small wars, two large ottos, four massacres, and an Inoome tax of firs shillings in tiw pound, Joan B*H rebels; and tam« bat Dr.b Party. A.D. 1896. Seattle Partaoeme* in with a Mg majoritr and bigger promises. Fiiiifthcs offjsll wars by oavmg in all ronnd, retiring. Catt down army, and resolves to sell half the iroaclad fleat as old aietal tower which huys it immediately mflfssait agaiust as. Another flt^t has a» be ordered at once At faoey prioM in response to Press eUmour. Seattle Party, in cl«*ft stic^t, halts between two Apiuious ; in parsjnt of psejoe is feand fighting all over tiie world, and after framis efforts at| economy, rans tip income tax to si* abillibga in the pound. John Brill feirnc oat Seattle Party. ' A.D. 3000: Oqsb Party come, in, grabhier than ev*f. Decides thai the only trtie. scieati H<r frbtitier is a oirelf , tbat'ef. the wheTe' gtd'* M wit. * £ndeayout» to u sqnar* ? that cirole. (OtEer Powers won't ** ootqe reand" to this vi*w at all. Array raised t« a sail I ion mett, oonseriptien fltJtahliaheeV » stand%r(T of British Navy decided to be orte ship for w**ry twenty mile* of the earth's sorraoe. Pma applaud* this idea, sa do shipfcnilders and **• gineers. Cbancelior of Exchoqn»r resigns, and retires to Colony BatolL Editor of Jtsjf» &«**** appointed it Us place. Other journals inraMdiately' " romd on " him, and oppose Grs* Government. Seattle Party t%ri^ a>d stirap the ooontry. AU iinmbuii of GovHmaent, exre it*Chane»H6r «€ Exeneqoer, resign. He mises In^ometik ea twenty sittings in the M^ and war with e»stfjsady. Is iaroibtr invae^ witk^Oi^raf lba>Q^«%H

Jftok^tfiait^rfiv*' foreign tfee*s and six European aruiiba are on the point of starting to attack us. A.D. 2005. Scuttle Party resumes offiao Mike.* terms with foreign arm** and fleets by premising to out our army down to a f«w gentries and guards of honor, aad our navy M two - armottr-clads^ without guns, and a four knot unarmed cruiser. Give* up India to Russia, Africa'to-Oenuany,putsup garrisoned fortresses and coaling stations at Dutch, auction, and let* Colonial rin 4oose. Conference held at B«rlin as to what shall 1>« done with England. Turkey offers to take it under iiev protection, for a consideration. Powers agree on question, and Heligoland is about to annex it, whew English rise, under a, popular soap boilwr, sei*c leaders of Gran and Scuttle Parties slwvb their heads, and •uake waiters of them, banish both words from- political 'dictionary and make a fresh start.