MISCELLANEOUS.

Inangahua Times, Volume X, Issue 1586, 12 August 1885, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

How wick«vl many clever people are? For instance, William Mellor w»s only a fiU'in labourer, but lik certainly was clever, and as for wickedness— well, listen. A Hhort time ago this Mxllor suffered from rheumatism and a -damaged head, 'for which he was successfully treated by a Burgeon. Shortly after he shaved off his. wh isfcers anJ heard, and waited upon the -doctor, representing that lie was Thomas Mellor, brother to William, whom he declared to be dead. Deceived by the radical change in the man's appearance and the strong family likeness, the snrgpon gave him a certificate that he might obtain the burial money from the local Lodge ol Foresters to whi<;h William Iwlnnged. Armed with this, Mellor started oft registered his own dwuh, received tv» money from the Friendly Society, anc w«nt to the Derby races to enjoy him self on tilt sum hn had become uos eeasiid of by his ingenious fraud. Ai

' Derby he was unlucky enough to mcci , a friend who recognised him, and, , . upon returning to the scene of his deception, he discovered that his little game was np. and that his only safety i was in flight. Accordingly he decamped, and he has not been heard of since. The above has its transatlantic parallel in a story of a shrewd Indianapolis man that has just come to hand. The fellow, who was out of work and very hard up, wrote an unsigned note stating that he had drowned himself, and begging that the canal might be dragged for his body. Then he applied to the authorities for the job of dragging the canal, was fortunate enough to get it, and cleared a cool hundred dollars for the work. An American contemporary gravely announces that a new telephone has been invented by which the crying of a baby may be heard at a distance of a hundred miles. This is an application of a telephone which will make the most nervous individual dpsirious of interviewing the inventor with a shot gun. Of the eighty six millions or so of people who drag out an already troubled existence in tins eouutry and America, there may »c a dozen or two who yearn to hear the of a baby a hundred miles distant, but we doubt it. A contrivance that would prevent the crying of a baby being heard at a distance of ten feet, says our contemporary, is what the sleepless parents of this country demand. — Public Opinion. A stony stare of amazement was visible on the usually placid face of Mr W B. Maney, of Medford, Wig., as he returned from church on Sunday, and learned from the nurse, whom he had engaged, that his wife had just j given birth to four lively girls, each weighing three and one-half pounds " Well, Well," he exclaimed " this has been a busy abbath." "Am lon the right road to the village ?' demanded a traveller of an old darkey who was working in a fi<"ld. "Yes, sah," said the darkey. The traveller pursued his way, but presently returned very mad. " I say," he shouted to the old fellow, " what did yon mean by telling me that I was on the right road to the village ?" " I toP you de tmf, 'deed I did, boss." replied the darkey, •• bnt'yo' tuk de wrong flivekshun, sah."