A HUMOROUS SKETCH OF NEW ZEALAND.

Inangahua Times, Volume XI, Issue 1791, 6 December 1886, Page 2

A HUMOROUS SKETCH OF NEW ZEALAND.

! ♦ THE CHARACTERISTICS OF ATCKLAND AND WELLINGTON. A book has heen pnhliplu-d by Messrs Chatto and Wind us, London, entitled " Colonial Farts and Fciions," the author being Mark Kersliaw. ■ which, it is believed, ig a norn de plnme Mr Kershnw's notrs on N^w , Zealand are, perhaps, the sprighsiiest in the book ; and his srory of a China - I man who pat in a tender for a coi.traet • at Dnncdiu uiider Jthe name of John MacDouva', beciiiw he f«'lt certain it would never he awarded e xcf-pt to a Si'ot, is, as the Edinboro' critic said of Mrs Siddons' acM'na, " nae l»ad." Every visitor to Danedin U toM it on landing. At Christrhnrvh the tonrist visited the Mnseum, and of conrse examined skeletons of the dino»nis, concerning which he delivers himself I to the following eff-ct :— •• Nntnnl^ts say that the moa conWI not fly, bnt an old Maori, who, I think, w.«s a kin?, told me that they conld fly l»can»ifu!ly. Sometimes ynn ronld fl'ish a doznn in the niovnmg, and the sli^oti 1^ «•:»«« grand. When they dropped they sli^nk the earth like an earthquake. The best was roasted, and I quite believe the latter statement, as the singed bones could be seen by the basketful in every mnsenna we went to. They were pretty ton«h, and strangers, after once partaking of the delicacy, ! often refused to take any • moa*' Hence the name of the anim»l.' The breeziness of Welliitirtfln did not p«pg unnoticed by Mr Kershaw. who eiveg the follow!"? «s the testimony of a resident: — Wind, indeed? why, it's only a week or so ago wlwn a whole ' 'girl's Rchool w«s Mown cli-iin out. to | sea. Now they have invented a way 'ofreefinjj th«ir petticoats. T<>o much sail doe«n't do in these parts. AH the nursemaids and children never tnrn out now withontcarryii>casnv»ll k^dee and a few fathoms of cain hooked to the'V peranibW»\tors." "Good for windmills." I remarked. "Yes we thought «o, nntil w« triod th^m. One was blown away an<l landed sonu-wliere up amongst the. Maoris, who refusedto retnrn it, sayinir that it hnA been presented to thf-m last v.nr I v a gentleman from Australia. Tl> •• nfher mill we anchored d«>wn, bur when it once commenced to raovo, we were never ahl ■to sop it." At A'lt-kland our val:'tilf vi«i>or «m .k «« -in i nnr s. M\e note of ill f"' '^' " n ' >'<• Vy '' in vo'.-rttio > «, -"Ji' ■■■■:.■'- ' ii ! ' lf :1 " enters," ami th;it 'V; 'f \h*' latr.'i-, if it is i-f respecfahle dimensinns. will fetch four or five thousand ponnds in

the. open market. Not only so. but "ash, lipilli, scomm, lava, bm> ; •-, ..,' .lie duly (j'lottd in the pries nii-ieut. "When yon order a loud the vii rio; •isk> y.m how you like it — vesicular, I inv-.lul>»iil;il, jiiimicootis, crypUKMS c;illi.i»-, or how?" "Walking al>:jiit Aui'ki:»n<l," Mr KoiNha-.v go^-s on t«» say, " mule me very tin (I. 0 » : i . : :: _r down v ItilS y-)!i lisiW yo:ir ti>osj! v. led in the eni .if yi)iir l»s)<>is, wmle _;o:ng up a hill you li iw your body hanging over your toe». Dj >i^ with ek-vnted toes and heels wtuilil In- » vt»la«btt! hoau to people who live in Auckland."