THE SOCIAL CLIMBER.

Lake Wakatip Mail, Issue 2128, 23 October 1896, Page 4

THE SOCIAL CLIMBER.

The Social Climber is of all ages and of both sexes, but as to comparatively few men is given the large leisure needful for the cultivation of society as a fine art. it is more facile to obtain a favorable specimen of the female sex. Besides, the male S.C. is shy as well as rare, and consequently hard to come up with. Never is he boastful of his profession. He hides it away closely, does his little business up t>lind alleys, prefers culs-de-sac to street corners, and never courts observation in the open market place. The female S.C. conscious only of duty consicen'aously done, sees nothing to blush over when she scores her successes. On the contrary, she glories in her commerce and a very perfect example, if you »-. e fortunate enough to number one such among your intimates, "K\ ill freely expound to you her screed of social doctriri She vsifl begin by informing you that we have all of us but one life to liVi—this tiresome truism would not be worth the repetition but that it helps tr mark d'ov-.i the quarry pursued. She \< ill go on t > say that as ir. this best of p.ll possible playgrounds the playfellows are of necessity a very mixed lot, it benoves evevyone and hurts no one to make mest painstaking and careful choice amongst them, so as to offer the : finest e -hection at the day's close, when the rn'iTt giving hour «b*ll arrive. _ She is no idealist. She fcne-ws full well that f or , ? ve-y one of us there grow in the world's pardon bine mees which we may never hope to gather Over this drawback she will neithoi break her heart nor waste her time. She will, instead, trip disereetily along the well gravelled paths. patent s-hssors in hsnd, judiciously snipping a blossom here and a blossom there. Shauld danger of inconvenient crowding arise, do not corners abound ready to receive the inferior blooms so soon an, by J dint of reaching ari tip-toeing, she has I secured handsomer specimens to take

their place? Her roses must all have fine rolling name? or she is not content. Xo matter if the "Baroness Rothschild" he counted a dull *md vppid flower, without scent, and cumbTred with fleshy contours: it is to he found in all the catalogues, it is modish, ergo it is entitled to a place in her pannier. No common vulgar growths fur this dainty designed, no ■•cabbages." no -damasks." that smell sweet enough, but ave to be found in every humble cottage garden. Almost would she deny right of privilege to the ancient line of "York aJid Lancaster." But a chance word from the lips of some skilled, perhaps Royal gardener a? to the true value of their faded stripes may reach her ears in time to save her reputation as a connoisseur. "They are so interesting." she murmurs as she rapidly gathers the simple openhearted ros-'iets wherever she can spy th^m. Success is the sod of her worship. Let that be assured to any human being, to any earoer, to any concern. and it will suffice. She will make no irsrthor inquiiy. out of the fulness of the heart the mouth sneaketh. In contralto tones of deep conviction you will heev her congratulate the object of her ]>i>'--ent r'-.uarl on his good luck or iiis great < >up. "I am so very, very glad." And jt will, every word of it. be sincere. In the fast growing popularity associated with her naim she will, in due season, reap tlv reward of her sincerity. And yet she is far to > eh-v'" to bo ciuttotK.us or mere popularity. Said an S.C. of the first rank once, after a thought-filled pause. "Aft.-r all. you know, it is quite as important to be disliked by the right people as to be liked by the right ones." She n-ver envies. To envy i- unfruitful, and therefore a hetise. She never disapproves; disapproval is tedious as well as unoec oming. She admires and emulates — iv she discredits and turns away. Essentially utilitarian. she mans rut h> r 'iay in half hour shifts, to be spent in picking up the fragments so that nothing may be lost by the way. So fine is her t »uch. so delicate her discrimination that sh" rarely blunders, ovni amid the bewildering laws of the Social Exchange and Barter. "Cutlet for cutlet" being her entertaining motto, you will, if you are a common person, have to show cause ere she asks you t i dinner; and though she is by no means averse to receiving back a whole poultry yard of attentions in return for her singhcutht. she only plays at this game when she is assured that the cocks and hens will be left to furnish her private roost. The qualities she most reverences anadroitness, tact, and industry; adioitness in tlv seizing of opportunity as it romes along, tact in the skilful handling of opportunity when caught, industry in the tireless setting forth to market again with the rising of each new day's sun. In man or w< man the power she most admires is the one displayed when dealing with a difficult social situation. And the mental mood most distasteful to her intelligent —her soul, being as yet embryo, need not be counted with at present—is the one disposing it« victim to relinquish the struggle—to give things up as not worth while. Such pusillanimity earns Ivr purest scorn. "Whilst I live I fight." her working motto. She has many and signal virtue?, not the least of them being her devotion to her own kith and kin. For them she is ready to make real sacrifice of her personal tastes and desires. But in return they must accept her scheme of life in its entirety, they must adopt her ambitions for their own, they must show no sign of independence of judgment. Above all. they must be careful that no tinge of Bohemianism be permitted to flavor their views. She has a fine scent, and will quickly discover the taint. Any attempt to escape from the code of orthodox c <nvntionality in the strict observance of which they have been reared will cause the gravest ructions. All this requires wariest walking, and many a youth and many a maiden has fallen headlong into the morass of maternal displeasure, finding the bottom deeper and the way uf return harder than they dreamed, through over confidence in tlv ir power of balance when thus treading the donvstic tightrope. Although the S--11H-- of eitizenship is well nigh left out of her composition, she will always respect the Law. Neither will any of the Commandments, i*s.p« - rlally the last and unwritten one, suffer breakage at her hands. She will neither slay, nor steal, nor slander. She will keep holy man's Sabbath day, i.e., she will rest the servants and the horses, and avoid the playing of noisy games. Th< parable that best describes the Social Climber is the one telling of the man who fell among thieves, and of those who passe*! him by. Up to now the Samaritan of the story has had more than his fair share of attention. The two other persons of the drama well repay a careful study. The S.C. owes a large measure of her success to the same talent for skilful passing by. From many points of view, a worthy woman, this. It is hardly her fault if. nature having built her, In water-tight compartment? and cork fitted, she can only float upon the surface of things, and so fails to arouse the interest inspired by those other foolish ones, who dare to plunge into deep waters, oftentiot blessed with her safeguarding gifts, times to their own shipwreck. A summer craft sailing upon summer seas.— ••Weitnainßter."